tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14573341796512986012024-02-17T21:59:39.889-08:00Clayton WINSClayton is battling Rhabdomyosarcoma. The battle began Monday, Feb 6th. CLAYTON WILL WIN!Kesleigh Castlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359311020531298710noreply@blogger.comBlogger78125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457334179651298601.post-86616502203839264762017-02-08T19:49:00.001-08:002017-02-08T19:49:58.291-08:00Clayton Officially WON Five years ago tomorrow I was standing in my house folding clothes. My mind had been gone all week because I knew in my heart that the phone call I was awaiting was not going to be good news. I knew deep down that Clayton had cancer. I remember praying for a miracle those few days of waiting and hoping for the all clear, but somehow I knew it was going to be bad. What I didn't know was exactly what that phone call would do to me.. to us.. to Clayton.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Clowning around at Cooks on our LAST scan day!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgU5CRCL013SkI7ypcRupe8vAt7rpfOc-lCsoXe84H2F7vRJfCZ9ur0GwPSjzE100-OsO62nQ6pXQAZR78U01b-EtGs1lwikFiWfk804onRQQtYVIV4LSF96MkkwYX0ZzBYF45e1v571OZw/s1600/IMG_0003.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgU5CRCL013SkI7ypcRupe8vAt7rpfOc-lCsoXe84H2F7vRJfCZ9ur0GwPSjzE100-OsO62nQ6pXQAZR78U01b-EtGs1lwikFiWfk804onRQQtYVIV4LSF96MkkwYX0ZzBYF45e1v571OZw/s200/IMG_0003.JPG" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Oncologist, Dr. Heym</td></tr>
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It was the early release day for the kids in February when the call came and life after that became different than anything we could have ever imagined. We went from blissfully ignorant, to terrified. We rushed to find the best doctors, spent weeks at Texas Children's, cried, had numerous surgeries, cried, prayed, had more scans, cried, started 42 weeks of chemotherapy, watched our adorable innocent boy go bald, held our other crying kids who wondered where on earth God was, cried, drove 28 days straight to radiation treatments in Ft. Worth, and cried more. After he completed his long year of grueling treatment, we took a fantastic Make a Wish Trip to Disney, which is a memory forever etched in our hearts, and then we faced follow up scans. First they were every 3 months, then every four months, then every 6 months...getting a little easier each time.<br />
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Today we had Clayton's 6 month scans at Cook Children's and were told that he would NOT BE SCANNED AGAIN. We were told that based on his "roadmap" or treatment plan, he officially has the all clear! Talk about an amazing feeling and an incredible end to 5 years of heartache, fear, anger, and suffering for Clayton.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">5 years ago at Tx Childrens</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">MRI with NO sedation..ever</td></tr>
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If you know Clayton, you know he is incredible. He's smart, strong, kind, funny, actually.. hilarious, sweet, confident and completely untouched. He amazes me everyday. The things this child has seen, experienced, understood, feared and lived out have done nothing but created in him an amazing little person who is literally only changed for the better. The covering that the Lord put on Clayton both over his health and his heart is something that will make me forever grateful. He is absolutely mature beyond his years and he has a beautiful testimony to share...when he is ready.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Chest Xray</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Not pictured is Chad :)</td></tr>
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Today I don't believe it has hit me yet that this era of his life..our lives.. is over. He made it. He won! He is FREE! To God be the glory! Great things He has done. He absolutely healed my son. He protected my boy, his siblings, and my marriage. He spoke to my heart daily and honestly the sweet memories of how the Lord met me in my darkest days are truly<br />
some of the most precious moments I have lived even though they were the hardest. "For this child I prayed and the Lord has given me what I have asked of Him" 1 Samuel 1:27. We must NEVER forget the goodness of the Lord. Thank you to all of you who prayed us through. We love you dearly!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Clayton found himself on Cooks Cancer Kids Board</td></tr>
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Kesleigh Castlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359311020531298710noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457334179651298601.post-16116170753222049272015-11-04T12:34:00.003-08:002015-11-04T12:34:46.999-08:00And 10 days later... October 23 Clayton had his routine follow up scans at Cook Childrens. It was pouring down rain, but we went through the monsoon, did the tests, and made our way home just as is routine. This set of scans was different then most. I didn't feel nervous. I had a new calm over me the weeks leading up and even during the scans and waiting for the results. I just felt like it was all ok. <br />
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After weathering the storms and the road closures on the way home that Friday, we got the call we always get from the clinic, except this time was a little different. Clayton's brain/ear MRI came back perfect, but the doctor suspected something might not be right on his Chest Xray and he'd need to come back for a Chest CT. I worried, even though Chad, who took the call, tried to convince me not to. I also knew, and had told the doctor during Clayton's appointment, that Clayton had been coughing really bad and congested. He was on medicine for that. The doctor suggested the cough was probably the guilty culprit, but we'd have to be sure. A cancer survivor can't take risks. <br />
Well, 10 days later... yes, TEN days, the scan happened. That was yesterday. After a week of going over the "what ifs", a flat tire on the way to Cooks, a bunch of slow people both on the highway and in the hospital and a sleepless night waiting on that call, we learned today that apparently Clayton had a bit of a pneumonia, but he is now, in fact. .CANCER FREE. I'm not sure how many people can be excited and blessed that their child had pneumonia, but I can and AM.<br />
Surprisingly waiting these last ten days has been interesting. We didn't place the news on facebook simply because I didn't want my kids fielding 20 questions, and well, you know, sometimes people change the story a bit and I didn't want rumors starting that Clayton wasn't well. For the sweet friends who noticed that we did not post a follow up and asked me, THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH. Thank you for praying us through and for understanding when I was just kind of out of it or was not my normal self. We are so thankful for our prayer partners. <br />
As I was praying for Clayton and BEGGING God to keep him cancer free, I could hear the Lord BOLDLY say to me... "Kesleigh.. I have already told you that Clayton is healed. He has been healed in Jesus name" It was a reminder that sounded familiar to how I talk to my kiddos after the 5th time they've asked me the same thing. We have many new friends since Clayton's walk with cancer. If you do not know his story and the several ways that the Lord absolutely healed him, please stop and ask me. I will ALWAYS share the goodness of the Lord and the blessing He gave me in restoring my son to full health.<br />
So, today, as I'm walking around crying, or maybe smiling extra big, or if you drive past me in my car and see me singing loudly and boldly, I am in the midst of thanking the Lord for once again carrying us through a hard time, making Clayton new, and keeping His promise to us. <br />
Hold your family tight today, friends. Life is a GIFT.. and one we are not promised. If you are healthy, or even if you have pneumonia, be thankful. It's all a matter of Perspective. <br />
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Kesleigh Castlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359311020531298710noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457334179651298601.post-72230766568625430822015-09-02T09:31:00.000-07:002015-09-02T09:31:02.822-07:00Why do I do it? Two days ago, I changed my profile picture on Facebook. I found a picture of a bald headed Clayton and followed the steps to change that picture to represent the "Go Gold for Children's Cancer" campaign as September is Childhood Cancer awareness month. The next day I got a text from my sweet teenager daughter that simply sent a copy of my new picture and read "Why do you do this?" Now, I'm going to answer this because I know some of you possibly wonder, just like my daughter why I continue to remember and remind<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdKsTGa0dFMXaIQQblS_hZ3Vd9Eo-ii6d70tM_RwEvKPD2AynNBRBwcGr7tz7qLhxq3bx9CcuSCBQu8R1o-u5h4k6bOtFXZyEBNqN5kRDgmlaqEhI-BBlAmEs03-WsHgVOYipQXr9PkdVD/s1600/gold+clayton.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdKsTGa0dFMXaIQQblS_hZ3Vd9Eo-ii6d70tM_RwEvKPD2AynNBRBwcGr7tz7qLhxq3bx9CcuSCBQu8R1o-u5h4k6bOtFXZyEBNqN5kRDgmlaqEhI-BBlAmEs03-WsHgVOYipQXr9PkdVD/s320/gold+clayton.JPG" width="320" /></a>others of what my three years ago looked like. Shouldn't I just "move on"... " forget it" " be thankful for his health" and go on? Here's why I "Do this".....<br />
On February 8, 2012 I heard "Your child has cancer". You see, our family is not rich, not poor, not strict healthy eaters, not bad eaters. Our kids play outside. They do sports. Our home is clean. We don't do drugs, heck, we barely drink alcohol. We go to church most Sundays, we attend public school.. WE ARE NORMAL.. We are YOU. That's the thing about cancer.. it doesn't care anything about the kind of person you are or aren't, it just happens. And, when it happens to your child.. when it happened to MY child, I was forever changed.<br />
Friends, it is NOT uncommon. I know that no one wants to hear that because it's easier to just go about life in the comfort of knowing "that kind of thing wouldn't happen to me". I know that comfort because I once had it. But, it happens. I am telling you that at least once a month I am approached, messaged or questioned about a child that recently got diagnosed with cancer. Whether it be online, in my hometown, in the church I attend or someone I know at the gym, it happens.<br />
That is why I still take a moment and advocate for more funding and more research to give more kids a chance, even if it is just changing my profile picture and making a donation. My son lived, is thriving and if you know him, you know that he is NORMAL! But, you also know that my heart beats a little faster when he says his ear hurts. My hearts beats a little faster when YOUR child says his ear hurts, or his head hurts, or she can't get over that stomach flu because I have seen the "what ifs" play out right before my eyes.<br />
The treatment Clayton had was the treatment the children had in the 1970s. There is just not much research being done for our kids. Even though my son is completely cancer free, feeling great, acting like a regular 10 year old and has "moved on", I will NOT forget the kids who didn't make it, died too young, or are still fighting. So, "Why do I do this"..because YOUR kids, YOUR future kids, YOUR grandchildren, and MY SON is counting on it...That's why. #neverforgetKesleigh Castlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359311020531298710noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457334179651298601.post-74784603570484520422015-02-24T15:30:00.000-08:002015-02-24T15:30:25.157-08:00He's always been faithful to me.. Three years ago today, our son, Clayton was being wheeled into surgery. We had just learned days before that he had cancer. We were at Texas Children's Hospital and were spending each day doing tests and procedures trying to determine how invasive this cancer was, where it was and what was going to be our plan of action. We were all emotionally DONE. Through all the testing, we learned that Clayton had Hydronephrosis. This has nothing to do with cancer. He was born with a kidney that just doesn't function as it should. Most people never know they have this because we work just fine with one kidney, but because Clayton was soon going to endure months and months of chemotherapy, we had to make sure this kidney and it's inability to filter the medicine to come, would not cause life threatening problems as it was.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlETHzJCzRpw6MXjD_uM0N14CWREo7PA4Fc2m-mDCLdto_la17qV5nA37-xFwfgauzoQEUlESBwg8-8WYACfB7QI1Kwx_fli9uy0C_2KU6uJH8Bh1PboAAfwchk8i-Ehai-b39ZF0c-0eW/s1600/402607_10150711448538475_637363474_11406260_724553721_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlETHzJCzRpw6MXjD_uM0N14CWREo7PA4Fc2m-mDCLdto_la17qV5nA37-xFwfgauzoQEUlESBwg8-8WYACfB7QI1Kwx_fli9uy0C_2KU6uJH8Bh1PboAAfwchk8i-Ehai-b39ZF0c-0eW/s1600/402607_10150711448538475_637363474_11406260_724553721_n.jpg" /></a> After a day of pediatric urology appointments, an intern waltzed into Clayton's hospital room and told us that they would be removing his kidney the following day. I honestly never thought they would even consider removing his kidney! I remember just falling back into the chair behind me, asking the intern to please send the "real doctor" in, and trying to gather in my head what else this little boy could possibly have to go through. Later that day, the head Pediatric Urologist came in, showed us scans that proved that Clayton's kidney was too weak, worthless and was not going to be okay to endure the medicine. WE WERE DEVASTATED! That blow was just one that I will never forget. We called all of our family, most of which came down to be with us the next day, and we prayed and prepared our son for another invasive surgery and tried to explain what was happening to him next. <br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgv4Pu6ABAxUBp3Z5Ash_h6k4MEo69yPDMuv02luqVQ1HhzvDyUG3Iw2XqeNDpzTfiKRFssZDSqmZjBuh1M_Jo-izxETfY3DkXgvyiQgjCv6Y8Bm0ucjWO9-_jMA95C0u3UyfzEFNudkbte/s1600/photoclayton.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgv4Pu6ABAxUBp3Z5Ash_h6k4MEo69yPDMuv02luqVQ1HhzvDyUG3Iw2XqeNDpzTfiKRFssZDSqmZjBuh1M_Jo-izxETfY3DkXgvyiQgjCv6Y8Bm0ucjWO9-_jMA95C0u3UyfzEFNudkbte/s1600/photoclayton.JPG" /></a> The surgery was scheduled for 12:30 pm. We were awakened at 6:00 am with a nurse saying, " The surgery has been moved up. We're taking Clayton down in 15 minutes". Wow! Off they went with Clayton, and us following behind, to the surgery where they were removing his kidney. I remember crying and just feeling devastated and asking God, What in the world? Why in the world? What more, God! After about an hour, we were waiting in the waiting room, crying, pacing, greeting our family, when another intern walked out in full surgical scrubs and said, "Castle Family". Chad and I approached with fear, but ready to hear that it was over and Clayton was ok. In a strange tone of voice, this doctor said, "Mr and Mrs Castle, We can't explain it, but the scans were incorrect. Dr. Roth got to Clayton's kidney and all that is required to make it viable, is a small repair. It is functioning and will absolutely not have to be removed," We looked at each other. I remember falling into Chad's arms and saying, " Did I just understand him to say that Clayton is keeping both of his kidneys?" You betcha he did! In a moment that I can't explain, that will never make sense to me and that I will never ever forget, I witnessed and lived a miracle. A full blown miracle. You see, we saw the scans with our own eyes, we understood them, we viewed them. It was a true miracle and a presence that only God will be able to explain.<br />
With that little story, I say.. HE IS FAITHFUL to meet our every need. Tomorrow Clayton has his scans to tell us that he remains cancer free. I know HE IS FAITHFUL.. He goes before us.. He is holding us even still. Please pray for us as we go tomorrow. Pray for Christ to show Himself again and to remind us that He is who He says He is! Whatever you are facing today, HE IS FAITHFUL. We are living proof!<br />
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Kesleigh Castlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359311020531298710noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457334179651298601.post-64554259655466749462014-09-01T20:44:00.000-07:002014-09-01T20:44:02.428-07:00I wish I wasn't "AWARE"<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDbHngtEUswxrnQKX6FmWVBNA1kGpHRm_M2yU3LwDr3DZ4Xt6jbBntC17nRHlkiHbvoUXlejF9uxdjye6hqNLU7wdWEHPSC-EzTsagwu45aUwGczOdgdyYkAZNmtxJPq_59WhMBqqVqJ4h/s1600/clayton1st+001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDbHngtEUswxrnQKX6FmWVBNA1kGpHRm_M2yU3LwDr3DZ4Xt6jbBntC17nRHlkiHbvoUXlejF9uxdjye6hqNLU7wdWEHPSC-EzTsagwu45aUwGczOdgdyYkAZNmtxJPq_59WhMBqqVqJ4h/s1600/clayton1st+001.jpg" height="320" width="226" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">First grade 2012</td></tr>
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Am I Aware?? You better betcha! February 6, 2012.. my heart stopped.. Well, actually it stopped a few days before because I knew. I knew in my heart that something wasn't right. But, nothing takes your breath away like the moment the doctor's office calls and says they need you and your husband to come and not bring your child. They needed to talk with us. It was a gut wrenching heart breaking time in our lives. Our beautiful, perfect little boy was headed for a fight for his life... and he didn't even know it. He was too young and too innocent to be "Aware". That's the case for all of these little ones fighting for their lives. They are dependent on us and rely on their parents, communities, and doctors to make them "ok", "normal", "survivors".<br />
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For those of you who don't know, September is CHILDHOOD CANCER AWARENESS MONTH. It's not much, just one month to take a moment and acknowledge the little ones that are fighting so hard. Before our family was forced to be "aware" of cancer, I thought childhood cancer was rare. I thought only kids that "weren't normal" got cancer... not the fast little boy on the baseball team, or the little girl dancing on the front row at the recital, or that beautiful baby that our teacher had last year. Not MY kid.. Boy.. was I wrong. Cancer picks no favorites and in many cases, it is a ruthless, life ending beast. In ALL cases, it's life changing. Of the 46 children per DAY who are diagnosed with cancer, 7 of those kids will die. It's a tough thought and something that has no definitive cure. Most of the treatments haven't changed in over 20 years. The protocols are the same.. the medicines are the same.. and little has advanced in the treatment plans. It's concerning and frustrating.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3tcGT__IoOq7uPenXYLGXlknrCDzBPXmNp-KtvHotXzhbVChvxzFQVe1wrkm_IWl3wLQDxUlgQeZKen_kenw4aDXrby-P16i5inmPHufKoY2oc0atwcW0SooJgcPGzeGwa93vlHDXYTws/s1600/photoclay.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3tcGT__IoOq7uPenXYLGXlknrCDzBPXmNp-KtvHotXzhbVChvxzFQVe1wrkm_IWl3wLQDxUlgQeZKen_kenw4aDXrby-P16i5inmPHufKoY2oc0atwcW0SooJgcPGzeGwa93vlHDXYTws/s1600/photoclay.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The fox mask clayton wore for 28 days<br />as he received radiation on his right ear. </td></tr>
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As for the Castle family, let me just speak candidly. We don't talk about cancer much in our house. Honestly, it is just too hard. You see, we don't <b>want </b>to be "AWARE". We want to pretend that cancer never touched our perfect family.. that cancer never stole our joy, kept us awake at night, caused us to be terrified anytime someone in our family has an earache, head ache, skin rash or any other common problem. You see, when we hear the words, "cancer", "chemotherapy", "radiation", etc..we know first hand what terror it is. We know what our "chances" are. Our children have gone to camp with, gotten close to, and loved on kids that are not going to make it. That are not cured.. or that will never be the same because of cancer. We are aware. We are forever grateful that Clayton fought and won. We do NOT want to go back to those days. We don't even want our four month scans. We just want to turn our backs, move on and act like it didn't happen.. But, you see, we just can't because we "get" it. We have seen it, we have lived it. We are FORCED to be aware. <br />
If you're still with me, I'm just asking you to do something small. Go to Auntie Anne's in the mall and donate a dollar. This month they are collecting money for Alex's Lemonade Stand. It's an organization that provides funds for children's cancer research. It doesn't even cost you anything because when you donate a dollar, they in turn give you a coupon for a dollar off. Or.. I'm betting you probably know someone with childhood cancer. I can almost promise you do. Give to the hospital where he or she is fighting. I know as a community we are asked so often to give and give and every disease deserves funding.. not just breast cancer, but the kids fighting too.<br />
As for Clayton, he is doing GREAT. He is a success story. His last scans showed him as cancer free... NED. He will continue to have scans for his entire life in hopes that we NEVER have to face the beast again. In honor of his fight and the many kids we are in touch with still fighting, please be aware. These babies depend on it.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwBbcmXJIW41ssvHj-lq3GZWHNoA-rqCZoTENvueHRoCphGgKmIU41mMykQ_w4yAE5x3lCoEk2jBb49ePNHgac6N6wUN-7DuSysyq9E7SRSz86edAZv3OkKGW57XBn0V8SeGyEJtOufqPl/s1600/IMG_4101.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwBbcmXJIW41ssvHj-lq3GZWHNoA-rqCZoTENvueHRoCphGgKmIU41mMykQ_w4yAE5x3lCoEk2jBb49ePNHgac6N6wUN-7DuSysyq9E7SRSz86edAZv3OkKGW57XBn0V8SeGyEJtOufqPl/s1600/IMG_4101.JPG" height="213" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mrs. Barrett.. Clayton's kindergarten teacher</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mrs. Barrett.. now his 3rd grade teacher</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">HE is why we are aware.. HE's worth it</td></tr>
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<br />Kesleigh Castlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359311020531298710noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457334179651298601.post-29740077115049653262014-06-16T20:12:00.001-07:002014-06-16T20:12:51.252-07:00Happy 9th Birthday, Clayton<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Today is a GREAT day! Clayton turned NINE! We are so thankful for his health and the ability to celebrate a birthday with a healthy happy kid who just loves every moment.<br />
Clayton just finished 2nd grade with all As, outstanding test scores and a 4th grade reading level. He also completed his spring baseball season doing some pitching and playing short stop along with some outfield. He wasn't on the most winning team, but he made great friends, learned more about the game and became a better player in the end.<br />
Besides having a birthday, this is a big week because he has his follow up scans this Wednesday, June 18. This will mark 18 months off treatment and over 2 years cancer free. We would ask that you please join us in praying that his scans remain clear, and he can just continue on with his summer and his life carefree like every child his age should. Besides a bout with swimmers ear in his "good" ear.. aka.. left.. he has been healthy and loving life.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj46EQCBu_6lCkndwrfmn9K2-HxuYuTzVBMb-Wr0KV1whZTpSnZ4_9cV86CNPU4cBksvFy4GdjDWIu6w8z3_oUadAXD_7e_vcLCEHwbAIg3y-9e6_IzOaJ8Eh9cQJ0sFAz3H2IsGlabVa55/s1600/IMG_0783.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj46EQCBu_6lCkndwrfmn9K2-HxuYuTzVBMb-Wr0KV1whZTpSnZ4_9cV86CNPU4cBksvFy4GdjDWIu6w8z3_oUadAXD_7e_vcLCEHwbAIg3y-9e6_IzOaJ8Eh9cQJ0sFAz3H2IsGlabVa55/s1600/IMG_0783.JPG" height="213" width="320" /></a> Thank you all for continuing to pray for him and for standing with us Wednesday as we go to Cooks. So thankful for a God who goes before us, and reminds us that His plans for us are good. <br />
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<br />Kesleigh Castlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359311020531298710noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457334179651298601.post-40362676720443667322014-02-11T18:02:00.000-08:002014-02-11T18:02:32.208-08:00Tis the night before follow up scans<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Well tomorrow is a busy day for us. Chad and I will be taking Clayton to Cook Children's for his 3 month scans. I HATE SCAN DAY.. in fact, I hate the entire idea of scans. The whole idea that someone is staring at a screen searching for a problem in my son's brain, ear and face, while he is laying back calmly watching a movie. I'm nearby in a chair avoiding all eye contact with the MRI technician, sitting looking at my book, but not comprehending any of the words, and just praying and begging God for a clear report. I would say it's just unfair, but honestly.. how could I really say that? My son is walking cancer free and completely healthy. No, ear aches, no fevers, no muscle problems, no broken spirit... just carefree and an 8 year old kid. That was my prayer, it was answered... I'm feeling like that's more than fair, I guess. BUT, it still doesn't take away the anxiety, grief, FEAR, and heartbreak that accompanies Scan Day.<br />
This month is hard for me. Two years ago today is when we got that awful call. Some friends have even since told me they knew exactly where they were and what they were doing when they heard that my sweet son had cancer. UGGhh.. oh how I wish we could go back to the blissfully ignorant life before cancer existed. For me now, cancer is a huge fear, a threat, a monster that haunts this momma. I just pray and pray and pray everytime the evil word lurks in my mind. I watch Clayton run to the car after school and thank God, I watch him run up and down the basketball court, and I thank God. I hear Clayton telling jokes, and I thank God. <br />
I know in the last two years I have grown a tremendous amount in ways I never expected, for that I am thankful. I have learned that we have a living God who performs miracles. I have witnessed them and am still brought to tears when I speak of them. I have learned that days are super precious and a gift. EVERY day is. One of the best things I've learned is to appreciate kids for who THEY are. Guess what.. it doesn't matter that your kid or mine is the best on the field or court.. NO ONE is going to care when he or she is an adult. NO ONE... BUT, they might remember the hurtful words or fools we adults made of ourselves on the sidelines. Hurts to think about, but true. Just love and encourage them to be their best in using the gifts the Lord has given them. That's a whole different blog topic there... Wow.<br />
Anyway, tomorrow is the big day. I'll go to sleep with knots in my stomach and wake up with knots in my stomach. The doctor will pick up the otoscope tomorrow to look in Clayton's ear and I'll hear my heart pounding in my head until he says its fine. I'll sit in that loud room with Clayton during the MRI and my mind will go over the dreaded "what ifs" that I try to avoid. The phone will ring in the afternoon/evening with the number of Cooks and I'll stop breathing. It will happen. I hate scan day. Please pray for us as we go. Thank you for holding us up the past two years and continuing to do so. Believing for a GREAT report tomorrow. I will be STILL And know HE is God. <br />
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<br />Kesleigh Castlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359311020531298710noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457334179651298601.post-72434473555696113152013-12-21T11:28:00.000-08:002013-12-21T11:28:32.718-08:00He makes ALL things new<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Today marks a year.. ONE year since Clayton had his last dose of chemo, one year since he slept overnight in a hospital room, one year since the nightmare somewhat ended. PRAISE THE LORD!<br />
Last year on this day, we were finishing up at Cook Children's and ready to face Christmas and the new year a free kiddo.. and that's what we did. We just took life by the horns and have been living it. So thankful.<br />
So much has happened since that day. So many great amazing moments that before cancer happened, we would have taken for granted. Clayton had a great trip to Disney..Clayton played baseball and won the city championship..Clayton GREW HAIR.. Clayton's bone marrow returned to normal, with normal counts.. the list goes on. Our son played flag football, went on a cruise with no worry of illness, plays basketball, enjoys neighborhood friends, sleeps in his own bed without fear anymore. HE IS FREE.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaYgssBtJKYBqo1MN17-C8N-m-HkX2M-C-hTSWurRjj-3oVKkxur2IyaVhlvLLuioLSIAaGJ8q4d-Uq2PJF1reYgJiJLE0f1F8KFN9RRvvXEBxp5xvFRpa4Thb-lVH3dIZzvxBc_bE4jAK/s1600/IMG_5463.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaYgssBtJKYBqo1MN17-C8N-m-HkX2M-C-hTSWurRjj-3oVKkxur2IyaVhlvLLuioLSIAaGJ8q4d-Uq2PJF1reYgJiJLE0f1F8KFN9RRvvXEBxp5xvFRpa4Thb-lVH3dIZzvxBc_bE4jAK/s320/IMG_5463.JPG" width="320" /></a> It's taken me almost a year to accept those words.. we're free. The nightmare of what Clayton went through haunts me everyday. I have dealt with unimaginable fear of the cancer returning. But, as many told me during the journey.. It does get better. I am now.. a year later.. able to see that it's okay. We're okay. We made it. As a friend told me last week, you never really understand how God's grace carries you through until the unimaginable happens to you and you have no choice but to trust in HIS grace. Then, He steps in and does what His word has promised.. He MAKES ALL THINGS NEW. <br />
I have dealt with some guilt regarding Clayton because we have cancer "friends" who are not okay, who are not receiving God's healing, are not able to live free right now. We love and pray for them daily. We have "friends" who have had another family member diagnosed as well as their child, they have lost dads, they are still in treatment. It feels unfair. It pains me for them. I have no answer for that. I just have to know that God is in control. HE WILL MAKE ALL THINGS NEW. To our friends still fighting, we love you and pray for you daily. We hold you very close.<br />
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As I step back and look on our family's walk, I wanted to share some ideas on how we all can minister to people hurting. See, as a family/mom/sibling/sick child, when you are in the mist of trial, you don't see things like you normally would. You are stricken by sorrow, fear, hope, despair.. you are just not yourself. The world kind of stops and you are emotionally different. Please understand that when someone you know is in a trial, things that used to matter suddenly dont so much. We had close friends that let us down. It felt like they abandoned us. We had not so close friends bless us beyond measure. We lost friends and we gained new friends. I actually had a friend tell me they "Didn't have time to read Clayton's updates".. WOW... Then, we had amazing friends reposting and calling the community for prayer. We had random churches around the country sending us words of encouragement. We had meals when needed. I would encourage us all to see a need before it's mentioned and meet it. Listen when your friends need an ear. Give grace to teenagers when they aren't themselves because they just can't see their mom cry one more day. By the way, they won't tell you that. They will paint a picture that it's all hunky dory... that they have no fear.. that they are perfectly fine. They are not. Send a note of encouragement, tap the mom on the back in the store just to say we're still praying, and most of all, just love on them. <br />
Last week I was in Old Navy and the clerk asked the customer in front of me if she'd like to donate a dollar to St. Judes. She said no. At first I was mad, then I thought.. you know, I may have said no too two years ago. If you have an extra dollar.. say yes. It's just little things that all add up. My experience has certainly shown me how lacking I have been over the years in truly caring for people. It's kind of nice now to take off the "we need you" hat and be able to meet the needs of others now.<br />
We are so thankful for all of you who held us up, prayed us through.. and still do, love on Clayton, cry with us, encourage our teenagers, bless my husband, rejoice with us in the victories and who boldly share the testimony that God created through Clayton. HE MAKES ALL THINGS NEW! And aren't we grateful! Clayton's next set of scans will be Feb 5th. He will then go every 4 months then every 6months, then once a year. We firmly believe that Clayton will walk cancer free for the rest of his life... in Jesus name.<br />
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Kesleigh Castlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359311020531298710noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457334179651298601.post-31135797507039684052013-08-02T20:25:00.001-07:002013-08-02T20:25:36.578-07:00It's all good!<br />
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I'm telling you what... I would never wish follow up scan day on ANYONE! Oh.. this day. Praise the Lord it is over! There is nothing and I mean NOTHING more gut wrenching then sitting by the phone and waiting anxiously for a doctor to call and tell you if you child's cancer is back or not. It is a terrible sick feeling.<br />
Praise the Lord... our son remains CANCER FREE! We are so thankful and so grateful we just can not put it into words.<br />
Today we arrived at Cook Childrens, with all 4 kids, at 10:45. I was driving crazy and rushing hoping I wouldn't be late. We got there at 10:50.. there was traffic, ok?? and then we waited and we waited and we waited. At 12:45 we saw our doctor. Two hours after our scheduled appt. time. We had a great visit. He said that if he didn't know Clayton's history, he would never even know he'd been through so much based on his blood work results and the appearance of his ear canal. He says it looks great! He also promised to call us by 6pm with the results.<br />
We took Clayton down to the MRI machine and as usual.. he handled it like a champ. He picked his movie, Underdogs, and laid back as still as possible for 1.5 hrs. He is a HERO, people. Totally amazing. I'm always so proud of his maturity.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPfb5ZQl6x3U4jQBB5TO_C5wILaQcOxC3BKSUtxoiND_xARYFmS6rwDVqOkTps0LPPsGgKAsnIvoHDHkyXAeqTEc17vK7yH2xemfwCkuY5_I_Vz8ME99uT1R4d4RRcAwqURk8aXID5oUDN/s1600/IMG_7358.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPfb5ZQl6x3U4jQBB5TO_C5wILaQcOxC3BKSUtxoiND_xARYFmS6rwDVqOkTps0LPPsGgKAsnIvoHDHkyXAeqTEc17vK7yH2xemfwCkuY5_I_Vz8ME99uT1R4d4RRcAwqURk8aXID5oUDN/s320/IMG_7358.JPG" width="213" /></a> Well, we leave and 8:00 rolls around, and I hear nothing. We are still waiting.. starting to feel sick, starting to assume the worst. I've built up in my head that he is planning treatment options before calling me...Chad agrees that I should place a call in to the on call doctor.. I mean, if I'm not sleeping, surely he shouldn't be either, right ? Turns out, our guy is ON CALL! Whoo hoo... I leave a message and wait and wait.... no call. 9:00... I'm sorry.. I'm calling again. By this time I'm just sure it's bad news. I'm feeling sick, I'm crying, and it's just bad. I call again.. within 10 minutes he calls and tells Chad the good news. His scan looks identical to the scan he had last time. No changes.. no masses, just some inflammation around his ear drum which is to be expected after 28 doses of radiation. HE'S CANCER FREE.<br />
We are so thankful, but I do find myself frustrated that I worried so much instead of just resting in the Lord's promise that He gave me early on that He has healed Clayton and has promised good for him. Fear is just sooo overwhelming when it comes to our kids. Right this second, I'm listening to a little carefree boy singing in the bathtub.. happy and healthy.. Funny thing is, to this moment, he has not asked me the results of his scan. I love his childlike faith. I love this kid! This momma is going to sleep thankful and glad today is over! Kesleigh Castlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359311020531298710noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457334179651298601.post-78594999646073890422013-06-17T06:41:00.003-07:002013-06-17T06:41:23.040-07:00Happy 8th Birthday, Clayton!<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Gorgeous sunflowers in huge fields near our house</td></tr>
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Yesterday was the big day! Clayton turned 8 years old! So excited for him.. he's had another birthday cancer free and is stepping into a new summer in full health. <br />
This year for his birthday he decided, along with a little help, to ask for donations for Give Kids The World Village in lieu of gifts. It was so fun to see his friends and their families step forward and donate over $200 in Clayton's name to GKTW. Give Kids the World is the darling little village made especially for Make a Wish kids. It hosts many many children and their families each week to provide them with a special place to stay while they visit Walt Disney World and the surrounding areas in Orlando. GKTW provided our family with an amazing villa to stay in, delicious meals, an darling atmosphere full of Disney and Universal characters, fishing, mini golf, carousal, nightly parties, arcade and most importantly to Clayton, FREE ICE CREAM ALL DAY.. even for breakfast! So thankful to have a boy who is willing to forgo his friend gifts to give back... and equally as thankful for the kids willing to give.<br />
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This past week brought back some feelings that I wish never existed. Clayton has been swimming in the pool every day and suddenly started complaining that water wouldn't come out of his ear. For Clayton, complaining is mentioning it once. He does not complain. Even at 8 years old, he's probably learned that a complaint means a doctor visit and worries from momma. For this momma, I immediately started panicking, yet trying to hide it from Clayton. After a couple days of watching him tug and pull, I called our ENT and took him in. Turns out his ear was NORMAL, but did have infection in it. It was cleaned out, drops were administered and this momma was breathing again. Clayton was pretty happy to have that ear free again. I have noticed that he doesn't use his right ear to talk on the phone, and possibly does have some hearing loss in his right ear. Sometimes he repeats secrets a little off, but we were told he would have hearing loss there after all his little ear has been through. I'm trying to accept that it is ok, but pray for minimal loss at the same time.<br />
As we approach another week of summer, we are so thankful and so blessed and just ecstatic that our child had an eighth birthday. Of course, we believe and have always believed that God is healer, the giver of life and our sustainer, but it becomes even more evident when we actually have birthdays to celebrate the life that the Lord has granted our sweet son. <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Notice the red cheeks! So thankful for the healthy look!</td></tr>
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This week Chad and I are going to Hawaii for a vacation together. Our kids are scattered about. Clayton will be staying with his cousin and also will finish playing in the City Tournament representing Midway on the Blue Jays team. The girls are in Louisiana and Cort is friend hopping for the week. Please pray for a refreshing time for all and safety in travel. As always, please pray that our baby stays CANCER FREE forever and can live a long healthy life that allows him to walk in faith always, share the GREATNESS of the Lord and be an inspiration to others. The Lord has big plans for this kid. I'm So honored to be his Momma! Next set of scans, AUGUST 2nd! Believing for CLEAR!<br />
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<br />Kesleigh Castlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359311020531298710noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457334179651298601.post-86969774977824048322013-05-17T15:23:00.000-07:002013-05-17T15:23:12.194-07:00See.. It's not just field day to me..<br />
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A year ago today I woke up at Cook Childrens Hospital. Clayton had been given overnight chemo and woke up feeling terrible. This was one of the Post chemo mornings that he was throwing up and crying so loud from his room that the nurse was summoned without the use of the nurse call button. I remember watching his sweet little bald head leaning over the toilet and praying out loud over him for the nausea to stop. I knew that after the nausea quit, he was headed across the street for a radiation treatment that would make him feel terrible all over again. My heart ached... everything in me cried and I am telling you, I hurt like I have never hurt before. I remember committing to my older kids earlier in the week to drive back to Waco to be with them on field day. I pried myself away from Clayton and left him in Ft. Worth with my mother in law who was thrilled to be able to help. I cried THE WHOLE WAY TO WACO and showed up just in time to watch Cort run in the relays with his class... still crying.<br />
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I remember sitting there watching the other kids participate and wondering if Clayton would ever get that chance. My mind went where no mother wants it to go. I started looking at the other kids and once again asking God.. out of all of these kids.. Why mine? I remember being just plum mad that my son was at the hospital fighting for his life instead of enjoying his field day. <br />
Can I please share with you that today.. A YEAR LATER... not only was my son well and at school, like he has been all spring, but he was playing, running, being competitive.. full of life and energy. My son was "just one of the kids". He was sweating, cheering, running, pulling, and laughing. My son was WELL. <br />
Today I sat wearing big sunglasses wiping tears from underneath. So thankful.. beyond words.. that my son is miles away from where he was last year. You see, for me, today was not just a hot track day where we go watch relays and balls being thrown. Today was ANOTHER moment that I treasure, appreciate and will be grateful for. Today was a day that reminds me of the miracle of prayer and healing... a HUGE day of thanksgiving to the Lord for restoring my son to full health. The Lord promised me Good.. He promised me that Clayton would be good. I am so beyond thankful that today, as I sat with mascara all over my hands from wiping my eyes...I was able to see first hand that promise from God in a way I never could have imagined last year. I guess I'm not going to be a normal mom EVER again. I will always be the mom that cries at the events... just thankful for the day... thankful that my son is "just another kid".. with a testimony. <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Cort's first swim in our new pool after a hot field day</td></tr>
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<br />Kesleigh Castlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359311020531298710noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457334179651298601.post-48967979909098372152013-05-01T07:54:00.000-07:002013-05-01T07:54:02.294-07:00Scans are CLEAR and PORTS COMING OUT!<br />
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Just giving a
quick update here. So happy to report that life at the Castle house seems
incredibly normal. I love normal! The
kids are busy playing baseball, volleyball, cheer leading, dance squad and
school...it's busy and puts many miles on the car, but I'm so thankful they are
ALL healthy enough to do their thing!<o:p></o:p></div>
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A couple of
weeks ago, Clayton had a brain MRI which came back perfectly normal! Praise the
Lord! He has no evidence of disease and his bloodwork was normal. HUGE
thanksgiving! He will continue to have these scans every 3 months for 5 years.
His oncologist says his chance of reoccurrence is slim based on the staging and
location of his cancer, but it's still a possibility. Also, Rhabdo is a cancer
that does sometimes show up again several years after remission...So, the black
cloud looms over us, but we are thankful for the bright light of the Lord that
shines over that black cloud. Today I am blessed with four healthy kids, and
that is absolutely enough for me. <o:p></o:p></div>
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One of my children recently asked me why I say "Isn't God so good" after Clayton got cancer. To him.. this just didn't add up. Why did Clayton get cancer? Why do you say God is good when Clayton got cancer? Shouldn't we be kinda mad that this happened to us? Why didn't God just heal Clayton before we even knew he was sick. Where was God when the tumor was forming? Wow! Hard Hard questions to answer. Many of those things, I don't understand myself, but I know that God continues to stand with Clayton and all of us and gives us a promise of a GREAT hope and future. For me.. that makes our God AMAZING! Some things we just don't understand and I believe we may never understand. But what I will do is insist that our testimony remain firm that the Lord is our rock and our fortress AND our healer!</div>
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On Friday, May
3rd, Clayton will have his port removed from his chest. It's an outpatient
surgical procedure that should take 10 minutes. We are having it done in Waco,
so we are hopeful that it will be uneventful, and put the final exclamation
point on this journey. We rest in the hope that Clayton is cancer free forever
and will never need a port a cath again!
May we never, ever forget the goodness of the Lord!</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Class Field Trip</td></tr>
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Kesleigh Castlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359311020531298710noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457334179651298601.post-64626393042812372962013-04-01T09:38:00.002-07:002013-04-01T09:38:58.867-07:00Easter 2013<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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This weekend was such a great time. It was the opening day for Midway Little League, where both Cort and Clayton played their first games of the season, and it was Easter. Such a great time of year and a wonderful time to reflect on the testimony of God's goodness.<br />
I was just watching Clayton playing ball outside with his bestie, Reagan, and thinking about how he hasn't stopped once all weekend. He's been smiling, happy, just loving life... every minute of it. I'm SO GRATEFUL. I just can not tell you how I look at my life and think about the gratitude I feel right now. I guess it takes the darkest moments and the Lord walking you through them, pulling you out, and allowing you to see the small things in life that make a heart just over flow with thanksgiving about the things you used to just expect and take for granted.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNH2NrDEbJFNC_hu72ELm0soTBebZoXVxud82V4YeaJb0yZUc0kWUWaRGCanmSMl8PBqmEdjRToriO9M21CT7AFp3-Hau7o7L9nVzBTs3EivKVhhbgAsdYvrEzb17YbTxy2RBypeFnnLsu/s1600/IMG_6117.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNH2NrDEbJFNC_hu72ELm0soTBebZoXVxud82V4YeaJb0yZUc0kWUWaRGCanmSMl8PBqmEdjRToriO9M21CT7AFp3-Hau7o7L9nVzBTs3EivKVhhbgAsdYvrEzb17YbTxy2RBypeFnnLsu/s320/IMG_6117.JPG" width="213" /></a> We are approaching Clayton's first set of scans this month. They are on the 16th at Cooks. He will have a Brain MRI with contrast and a chest xray. Rhabdo has a bad tendency to travel to the lungs and he will continue to have chest xrays along with his MRI every 3 months. When we get the news that he continues to be cancer free, we will arrange having his port removed. His port has not been a problem for him, but it hinders him from being able to water ski or play on the lake, and requires him to head to the hospital if he gets any type of fever.<br />
Clayton is a kid who has totally put the past behind him, and doesn't revisit what happened and where he's been...at least not out loud. His hair is back, his energy is back with a bang, and his heart feels calm. I'm just once again BEGGING God to keep him cancer free. It has almost been a year since we learned his cancer was gone. Of course, most of that year was spent on treatment, but we still count it as time without cancer. Please pray with us for clean scans on the 16th. I can't even imagine having to tell Clayton that he's fighting again. Please consider resetting your alarm for 6:16. We would covet your prayers. To ask for another request from an honest mom.. I have dealt with fear and anxiety my whole life. It has been a life long struggle. Please pray that I will not fear the worst for the rest of my life, and that I will be able to walk with authority in the Lord's word that He wants Good for Clayton and the rest of us. That as soon as my stomach and heart approach fear, my thoughts will rest in the Lord's promises and the healing power of His name. Pray that I will remember the vivid images that the Lord gave me at the beginning of my nightmare of Clayton as a young adult.. healthy, smiling and free from disease. Thank you so much for following us in prayer. We are so grateful!<br />
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<br />Kesleigh Castlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359311020531298710noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457334179651298601.post-72891577412064041022013-03-08T07:28:00.001-08:002013-03-08T07:28:29.712-08:00Defining moments and realities<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Well, it's been a while since I've written. There is a reason for that, which I'll get to in a moment. I thought it would be a good time to see a little compare and contrast here with my little man. Here is a picture of clayton on his last day of chemo passing out the hats to all of the children. I never, ever saw how bad he looked that day. I guess my mom eyes had either disregarded it, or just looked past it to enjoy the victory that day brought. The picture next to it is Clayton last weekend at Cort's baseball tournament... with great bone marrow, full energy, eyelashes, eyebrows and some hair. He really has more hair than is shown. The sun kind of washed him out a little. So thankful that he is healing, and being brought back to full health.<br />
So, for the reason I have had to take a break... My heart has had so much on it that I wanted to share and write about, but honestly, I think we finished treatment, did Christmas, moved into a house, made the one year from diagnosis and looking back just hurt too much. It's like if I just keep looking forward, then I can pretend that the past didn't happen and that we are free and clear. As you all know, this is not the case. We are certainly cancer free now, and we trust that we will remain that way, but the nagging voice of reality reminds me that the fear and truth still remain... that this is something Clayton and all of us will be facing for a good long while. It's just so much easier to not revisit it, put up a wall, and act like the door to the past is locked and there's no key that opens it. And with Clayton having his hair grow in and his color back, people don't obviously notice him as a "cancer kid"... which makes it easier to go around town and be normal...which is nice. However, I will say that I still look for every single opportunity to share his testimony. To let people know that Clayton is my little miracle and a picture of God's grace and healing. In that way, I do feel sad that Clayton blends in because the opportunities seem fewer.<br />
As February 9th approached, I did relive the day that the clinic called and asked to have Chad and I come in without Clayton. I remember the exact item of clothing I was folding, what I was wearing, where my kids were, how it felt when my knees hit the ground... oh... I remember every second of that day. That day was a HUGE defining moment in my life. Probably the biggest. It forever changed how I appreciate life, how I deal with my children, what I place as most important, what I truly believe about the Lord as my father.. healer... and His arms that hold me... it has forever changed me.. It also brought in me a fear so great... a hurt so deep.. and a type of pain that I didn't even know existed. Somehow, when I look at this little face now smiling, shooting baskets, asking questions, laughing, arguing, playing baseball and all the things little boys do, I just want to see what's right in front of me... not whats behind and not even what the future MIGHT bring. I just want to enjoy today and be thankful for it. I want to just be happy and so grateful for my little lobster.. (Clayton played Larry the Lobster last night in his school play)... I just want to rest in today and continue to BEG God for a cancer free forever. <br />
I know we all have things in our past, situations that defined us and maybe not in the way that we want to be defined... Maybe we don't want to be that divorcee, the widow, the young mother..... The CANCER MOM..maybe we define ourselves by what we do for a living, the money we have, the house we live in... or the kids we're raising. One thing I know for sure is that my God knew my defining moments before they happened... all of them.. He knew the precious moment when my husband chose me as his bride, He knew the moments my babies were born, He knew the moment my precious would face cancer. He knew.. He also knows our future. He knows the defining moments to come. He knows what Clayton's future wife looks like, what his kids will be named.. He knows. I just rest in that today and pray and BEG for continued health and promises of good. Please continue to pray for our family, for Clayton's continued health, and for all of the kids dealing with cancer and other terrible illnesses. God is Bigger... Clayton is proof!<br />
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<br />Kesleigh Castlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359311020531298710noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457334179651298601.post-60002114079414225922013-01-27T19:35:00.000-08:002013-01-27T21:13:20.534-08:00Relaxing in His goodness.. The past couple of weeks have been amazing. I almost don't know what to do with myself...besides pack boxes, make decisions for a brand new kitchen and bathroom, sell our current home and keep up with four kids. Ha! I just feel so thankful to be free from the chemo and the stress that comes with the blood work that is required of a child in cancer treatment.<br />
We did get the call from Ft. Worth that Clayton's next set of scans is April 19th. We've already marked the day off on our calendars and are prepared to once again see that our little man is cancer free. <br />
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Clayton is doing fantastic. I can tell that he is full of energy in a way that he hasn't been in some time. He's playing, laughing, joking and just being the little guy that he was before he dealt with Rhabdo. One of the fun things that he and I used to do before his diagnosis was go to the yogurt shop and have a date. He'd get his cup and fill it full of Cookies and Creme and Strawberry yogurt and then top it off with every cookie and candy on the topping bar. We'd sit down and he'd polish it off as we visited. I have always loved that he enjoyed that... Well, the week after he got his very first chemo, I was trying to bring back some normal and took him to the yogurt shop. He excitedly made his favorite combination, took one bite, and ran out the door throwing up profusely. I remember holding him, telling him it's okay, clicking him in his booster seat and quietly crying the whole way home. To me, that was just one indicator of what all was to come. The harsh changes and reality that were before us. Somehow we found a new favorite thing, enjoyed the days that he felt great, and forgot all about Yogurt. Well, friends.. this week, he asked to go back to the yogurt shop. After tasting all the flavors and thinking it over, he went right back to his old favorite.. cookies and cream and strawberry. He polished it all off, and continues to ask to go back. I know it sounds trivial to some, but this is just one example of him coming back to his "old" self and picking up right where he left off. It sure did my heart good!<br />
A few weeks into the beginning of Clayton's chemo treatment, I had another cancer mom ask me if I was "ready to mourn the loss of the little boy Clayton was" ... she said that he would have lots of problems and probably never be that happy go lucky little ball of energy. At the time, that was my biggest fear and those words bit right through me. I will tell you all..he is BACK and he has not missed a beat. I don't attribute it to anything other than God's hand all over him. He has NO problems at this time from his treatment. He runs and plays basketball..all four quarters. He is smart as a whip. .. he HEARS... he jokes.. he has an incredible sense of humor, like his daddy, .. he TRUSTS God! He is even starting to get little eyelashes and is growing some hair. He is a MIRACLE. I find myself answering questions about him every chance I get and just bragging on our God... our God that heals, protects, holds and promises good. Oh.. I just want people to know!<br />
We have truly felt blessed as a family. Our current house that we have loved and are moving out of got a contract on it before we even listed it on the MLS. We got an incredible offer and are actually closing in a couple of weeks. God is blessing our family. He's still walking beside us and taking care of us. <br />
Through this journey, I have had the opportunity to meet many families dealing with difficult, heartbreaking situations. I beg you all to pray with me for these kids. The same God that continues to hold Clayton is with them and loves them too. He is capable to do amazing things for each family. I don't always understand why God answers our prayers differently. Why Clayton did so well, yet other children are still suffering. I don't understand it and never ever will...it seems as unfair as it was that Clayton had to even get cancer. There are just no answers, but I KNOW that God wants good for them too. Some names for prayer are Abby, Ethan, Krista, Olivia, Brooke, Logan, Reid (who just finished his treatment.. YAY), Aliyah, Faith, Hannah, Kinsley.. among many others. Please pray with me for these kids and for continued health in Clayton. We are so thankful for the prayers of His saints!Kesleigh Castlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359311020531298710noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457334179651298601.post-15070805757421850622013-01-14T09:51:00.000-08:002013-01-14T09:51:01.005-08:00Make A Wish Trip 2013<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Wow! I don't even know where to begin! The past two weeks have been like a whirlwind of emotions, fun and busy! What an awesome week at Disney! I can not even begin to tell you how the Make A Wish foundation and the Give Kids the World Village bless families. I just almost can't put into words what these awesome companies and volunteers provide for these Wish kids and their families. It exceeded any expectation I had or ever dreamed would be awaiting us.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij3qBxyTLLwyuAvOaIJ4KAX37DWrhqyhYn7uSPE0S5mRgsxM0oAU1sleLP1sxmMGbpbv6STK1KSoIaABFw1tL_3Nzz8St1zLgYCdtQE6UC-hhLTm1bByIV0gx4s9cmuEHrFe965SShGZ1M/s1600/025.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij3qBxyTLLwyuAvOaIJ4KAX37DWrhqyhYn7uSPE0S5mRgsxM0oAU1sleLP1sxmMGbpbv6STK1KSoIaABFw1tL_3Nzz8St1zLgYCdtQE6UC-hhLTm1bByIV0gx4s9cmuEHrFe965SShGZ1M/s320/025.JPG" width="320" /></a> After we arrived in Orlando, on a flight provided for us, we were given an amazing rental van to drive all week. It was brand new with only 4,000 miles on it. We then reached the village, which is just moments away from Walt Disney World Resorts, we were welcomed by precious volunteers who showed us to our villa. It was a large two bedroom two bath with a full kitchen and even already had snacks in the refrigerator. A large meal was provided to our villa and we were off to sleep. The next day we were given 3 day park hoppers to Disney, 2 day park hopper at Universal, a day at Sea World, an offer for Free pictures using the Disney photo pass, a pass to allow Clayton and his party to the front of every line at each park, free parking, and a large check for our daily expenses. WOW! Talk about amazing. <br />
The village itself is adorable and caters to Wish kids. There are not just cancer kids. In fact, I only saw one other bald child while I was there. But, whats important about this week, is NO ONE asked Clayton about his diagnosis.. no one mentioned his illness. He was treated just like any other kid anywhere. It was freeing, exciting, and an awesome start to a cancer free life.<br />
At Disney and Universal, The wish kids are given VIP treatment. Workers are trained to cater to these kiddos. The kids wear their wish pins, and the employees actually seek them out for special moments. At Crystal Palace, a restaurant that offers meeting with Pooh and Friends, Pooh chose Clayton to lead the "Pooh Parade". Ride attendants would allow Clayton to sit where ever he wanted on the ride. The characters made a special effort to give Clayton and his family an amazing visit offering special pictures and moments. Several times we'd be getting Clayton's pictures with a character only to turn around and see the people in line crying or extending their best wishes for him as we walked away. It was precious! It was definitely a week he and we will never forget. <br />
Please remember to support the businesses that allow these kinds of great things for kids. The Make a Wish Foundation is amazing and will forever be a charity we give to... as well as Give Kids the World. Give kids the world is ALL volunteer and donations. They provide each family a villa, 3 meals a day, ice cream all day, drinks, snacks, amazing nightly carnivals, putt putt on site, fishing, arcade, movies, carousel rides and many other things. Sweet volunteers love kids and give their time and effort for them. Precious!<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWG2bfAuVHev4hBpShmXhrSNqcY4O3OtyIGjBs3BASdjStujGPHImCVoi6hRifej4N_mFfI6DtTkHRILqbiJGyJSg08lq5rjoeJKTE6LbTfr3sZ6v-7c5hRTBVXJX4F4a7oKXldNStfdWH/s1600/031.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWG2bfAuVHev4hBpShmXhrSNqcY4O3OtyIGjBs3BASdjStujGPHImCVoi6hRifej4N_mFfI6DtTkHRILqbiJGyJSg08lq5rjoeJKTE6LbTfr3sZ6v-7c5hRTBVXJX4F4a7oKXldNStfdWH/s320/031.JPG" width="240" /></a> As for how we are feeling.. Well, Friday Clayton endured a bone scan, MRI of brain and ear, CT scan of lungs, and a chest xray. We are amazed, grateful and blessed to announce that they were all NORMAL. Praise the Lord. Our little guy is officially not only done with treatment, but Cancer Free. I can't put into words what kind of feeling that is for a mother. It is almost like I don't know what to do.. I don't remember who I was before Cancer... I don't know how to go back to disciplining Clayton, telling him No, making him do his chores, etc. I'm sort of kidding there, because we didn't let him go free totally, but we did learn to cater to Clayton just trying to make his life easier.. Now, he's so excited to just be "Clayton". <br />
His next visit to a clinic will be in 6 weeks, but only to have his Port flushed. He'll go in 12 weeks for more scans just to be sure that this ugly disease does not return. After a clean set of scans this next time, he'll get his port removed. <br />
We've come a long way and we could NOT have done it without all of our friends, and family and without our precious Lord who walked along beside us. Thank you all for everything. Thank you for the meals, for buying and wearing Clayton shirts, for the bracelets, for the carpool rides, for the shoulders to cry on, for treating Clayton so wonderfully, I just can't express what all we feel as far as gratitude. Our cup overflows. I had the flu last week, but you know what, it was NOTHING. I felt horrible and was very sick, but it was nothing compared to the heartache and hurt that I've dealt with the last year. My heart is healing, although it will always ache for what my baby went through... and will continue to go through over the next 5 years of followup, but the knowledge that he is free and clear TODAY is all I need to face tomorrow. God has been faithful and He will continue to be. Friends, God is Good ALWAYS. Even in things we don't understand and maybe never will. I promise you, He is good and He does want good for his people. <br />
I am always glad to share Clayton's testimony and encourage anyone who may be hurting and suffering through a difficult road. Please allow me to do that. Love to all of you..<br />
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<br />Kesleigh Castlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359311020531298710noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457334179651298601.post-46808282793538549132012-12-27T08:38:00.000-08:002012-12-27T08:38:24.181-08:00 It's DONE... on with the fun!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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This past Friday night Clayton, Kate and I headed to Cook Children with a car full of hats and books and all of our overnight "fun" stuff. Our car was decorated celebrating Clayton's last chemo and the school had just sent him off with lots of praises and thanksgiving school wide given over the announcements. We were ready to get Chemo number 14 over with! <br />
We arrived at clinic and learned that too many kids had been admitted earlier in the day with neutrapenic fever, and there was not a room available for Clayton on the Oncology floor. We immediately panicked, then called in our prayer warriors. We drove to a nearby friend's house and had a great dinner while Clayton played with some of their children. After a few hours, I decided that we better be a little proactive. Kate and I had decided that we were NOT leaving Fort Worth without chemo. SO... we packed our stuff out of the car, walked up to the Oncology floor, begged saying that we drove from Waco, and camped out on the floor with all of our bags until a room became available. Thankfully a sweet little girl finished her blood transfusion, her room was cleaned, and in went Clayton. He got a big room with a great view of the helicopter pad (a boys dream). Unfortunately he didn't get to enjoy it long. He fell asleep at 8:00 pm, just 30 minutes after we<br />
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were given a room. His chemo was started at 2:00am and it was done. We were finished right there as he slept. It was over. The last poison had gone in his body... it was over! Praise the Lord!<br />
As usual, he woke up feeling pretty crummy, as you can probably tell from his pictures. BUT, he insisted on delivering his hats and books to the children on the floor. He wasn't about to leave until it was done. So, Kate and I loaded a cart full of all of his goodies, dragged the IV pole along and went room to room<br />
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delivering all of the sweet donations. <br />
The first room we visited was a new friend named Faith. Wow.. were we EVER not prepared for the blessing we were about to receive. We walked in and this gorgeous little girl with Osteosarcoma talked to Clayton and insisted that SHE pray for him before we left. Wow.. here I was thinking I was going to go around sharing blessings and prayers, and here sits this darling 9 year old, in a hospital during Christmas, who was smiling, happy, and determined to pray for Clayton. After she prayed the most gorgeous prayer for our boy celebrating his victory, we were able to pray for her. BLESSING!!! WOW!!. Please continue to pray for Faith.<br />
On we went to the other rooms. We met so many sick kids. Remember I said the floor was full. This sweet little boy with the Baylor cap chose these items. This picture was taken about an hour later when I walked by and he was wearing his BU hat and reading his new books. LOVE IT!<br />
We also met Aliyah. She's a GORGEOUS 16 year old also with Osteosarcoma. I had the opportunity to get to know her mom a little and pray for Aliyah. Kate enjoyed talking with her and<br />
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comparing school stories, etc. Then we met Logan. He is a precious little 2.5 year old who was having his SECOND chemo treatment, so he's a new diagnosis. He also has Rhabdo and his parents are exactly where we were in March. It's a hard hard place to be. And then we met Kylie. Kylie also has Rhabdo, but her's in not responding to chemo. Please keep her family and her in your prayers. Really all of these kids. They are REAL.. they are hurting.. and families are going through things that we can only imagine as our worst nightmares. Please cover them with prayers of grace, mercy and healing. <br />
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We finished passing out the books and hats and Clayton got finished with his medicines and we headed for home. We were welcomed by many friends and family in front of our new house. How exciting to celebrate new beginnings all the way around. So thankful for our prayer warriors and our community for loving us, reaching out to us, and holding us up. SO so thankful.<br />
Our family went on to have a great Christmas Day. Clayton is feeling great. He's playing with neighbors and just being a kid. Please pray that he stays healthy as he is still significantly immune suppressed. He'll have blood work tomorrow that I'm certain will show him dangerously low. We'll pray for a strong come back and head out to Disney Jan 2-8 to celebrate with Clayton. After we return, he'll have his end of treatment scans January 11th at Cooks. We appreciate your prayers that he will remain Cancer free. Forever. We are forever grateful for God for everything this year. So so grateful.<br />
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There are so many things this year that could have gone the other way. So many things... but honestly, a path was made for Clayton that we can't explain. While the treatment was so difficult, there was alot that could have happened that didnt. It's a miracle, actually. Clayton had minimal side effects and just continues to handle the entire circumstance like a champ. While God is my ultimate hero, Clayton is up pretty high in my book... right along with his siblings who handled life with grace and courage this past year... Not to mention my sweet husband that dealt with all of this, worked hard and carried us through. May we continue to walk in His grace as we stand by Clayton to pray that he is cancer free FOREVER!<br />
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<br />Kesleigh Castlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359311020531298710noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457334179651298601.post-31830650074375952012012-12-19T08:12:00.000-08:002012-12-19T08:12:33.649-08:00Clayton Wins<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Wow! Today is December 19th and my baby is scheduled for his LAST treatment on the 21st. I can't believe this day is here. We made it. We made it with flying colors. We are still married, we didn't kill each other, I'm not still balled up on the floor... WE MADE IT.<br />
Tomorrow Clayton will go for his blood counts to insure that he can receive his chemo on Friday. It is very promising because last week his counts were amazingly high. We are hopeful and excited to get this done. Make no mistake, it will be a chemo just like the others. He will feel sick, which will be combated with our antinausea regimen. He will get low counts again making him immune suppressed, and he'll be tired, BUT.. he'll be done. Praise be to God. <br />
I remember the night we returned from Texas Childrens Hospital right after diagnosis. I cried the whole way home from Houston, hadn't slept in three nights and was just in a place I've never been before. I remember walking in the backdoor and Kate saying, " Wow, Mom.. You really need some sleep." I remember getting a precious amount of calls and texts and thinking that I needed a solution to keep everyone informed and ready to pray specifically. At that time, I just couldnt face the fact that my baby, innocent and beautiful needed a Caringbridge. Surely not MY son. I couldn't do it, so I did what I knew to do and started this blog. Without hesitation, I sat down and immediately wrote.. CLAYTON WINS. This was easy for me. I grew up with my Dad being a HUGE Chicago Cubs fan. I still hear Harry Carey's voice saying " CUBS WIN CUBS WIN".. In my mind, without hesitation.. I needed to believe that Clayton would win. He would be a survivor.. a success to medicine.. a testimony of the Lord. He would WIN. I also remember thinking, but NEVER saying out loud that Clayton Wins either way. If he won by receiving the kingdom of Heaven too early, I would be the Loser, not my Precious. So, either way CLAYTON WINS. How grateful am I that Clayton WON on this side of heaven. He's here, he's mine... he's well, he's whole, he's a testimony to God's healing power and I am FOREVER grateful for the gift of my son right now at this moment!<br />
So, we'll go on Friday, get that last dose of poison that saved his life. I will pray everyday and every moment that he never has to experience the wrath of cancer and chemo EVER again. I will still beg and still plead for continued healing and for my son.<br />
Come celebrate with us on Saturday. It's a surprise for Clayton. We'll be lining the street and ready to cheer Clayton in after his last treatment. We expect to be home by 2:00. We'd love to make him feel like the champion that he has been to us. We'll be outside our new home in Woodway and welcome anyone and everyone. <br />
I said from the beginning that the Lord promised me Good. He did.. The Lord promised Good to me. I will rest in His goodness for holding me up, pushing me through and most importantly, covering my son. Praise be to God. Hope to see you all on Saturday.Kesleigh Castlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359311020531298710noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457334179651298601.post-42890814692759034872012-12-07T09:07:00.001-08:002012-12-07T09:07:31.114-08:00The Joy of the Lord...<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Family Thanksgiving Picture</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> Clayton Wins Books for Cooks...Woodway 1st graders</td></tr>
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This morning my little Clayton got up laughing and so excited about his day. We have an elf on the shelf, Elfis. I highly recommend this elf for those of you who have trouble getting your kiddos out of bed. Each night "Elfis" gets into some kind of trouble and it's Clayton's job to find Elfis and see where he's hiding. Last night he made a landing strip and tried to "fly" all of Clayton's Star Wars ships. Anyway.. my little guy got up so excited about his day. He was singing, talking all about his field trip today and so excited to wear his Santa hat to school for Santa hat day.<br />
Today is his very first field trip. He missed last year's kindergarten field trip because he wasn't allowed to be at school then. So, today, his trip to the Mayborn Museum will be his first official school field trip. Also today he had his weekly bloodwork at Hillcrest. He hopped right out of the car skipped right in to the lab, got poked, said goodbye and skipped his way right on out... without a care or worry in world. Let me just have a mom moment here... There is something to be said for a kid who can face what Clayton has faced and is facing and can skip about life like he's just thrilled to be able to participate. I could sure learn alot from him. Whoa is me... seems like that is the thought process I continually fight in my own head just knowing what my precious faces. But, the kid himself who is enduring the trial always has a smile, tells jokes, sleeps soundly and just enjoys every single moment of being a kid. It totally makes me think of " <i><b>The Joy of the Lord is my Strength" Nehemiah 8:10</b></i>.<br />
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So, today.. I will join Clayton on his field trip, holding my breath the entire time because his blood results came back showing his white count extremely low. I will be there standing between him and any germ that tries to come near him.. Just kidding.. we all know that the precious angels that the Lord has assigned to Clayton surround him in a much better capacity than I ever could. So thankful for those angels.<br />
Please pray that he stays strong, makes counts for the 20th and is able to say "Adios" to chemo forever. So amazed that the journey is almost over. <br />
Just sharing some pictures. These are the sweet nurses at Cooks Waco that have given Clayton his weekly Vincristine which is now OVER. Thank you ladies, for your service to our family. Above is a picture of Clayton standing next to the tree covered with all of the donations his first grade friends at Woodway Elementary have given for Cooks. Clayton is helping head up a drive to provide new books and hats to the kids that are in the hospital at Cooks Oncology. Thank you to all of the families participating. Clayton is so proud! We love you.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Santa Hat Day</td></tr>
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<br />Kesleigh Castlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359311020531298710noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457334179651298601.post-4876001541381380262012-12-01T21:30:00.000-08:002012-12-01T21:30:52.992-08:00One left..<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Just a quick update tonight to say that Clayton DID do chemo yesterday. It was almost as if God said, "Ok.. You trust me, now let's go". We got an unexpected call yesterday morning about 8:40 from the H/O clinic. Dr. Heym, our oncologist, had studied Clayton's bloodwork himself and decided that his counts were in fact going up and he could come in for chemo. This allows Clayton the chance to be done with chemo before Christmas and still make his Make a Wish Trip in January. We will still have to see if he makes counts on Dec, 20, but we are hopeful.<br />
So, yesterday I prepared like a mad woman with 30 minutes warning to get our stuff pulled together and be in Ft. Worth by 11:15. It was tricky, but we did it. <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Nutcracker welcomes Patients</td></tr>
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The evening went very well. When we got to the clinic and the doctor reran labs, he saw that Clayton's counts were rising. That certainly made me feel much better. He made it through clinic, enjoyed the darling Christmas decorations, played with Cort, watched a magic show, built legos and received his second to last chemo. We got discharged this morning. His Nana joined us for a pancake breakfast, Clayton's choice, ... then, Clayton left to hang out at home with Nana and we went on to watch the Midway Panthers win AGAIN in the playoffs. Kate was dancing and she did great. The game was a treat for sure. Now we're exhausted, but glad to be one chemo closer. Thank you all for your prayer and for our friends who stepped in at the last second and helped me with the others yesterday. Thank you thank you.<br />
As a quick prayer request. A precious family that I have met through this journey needs your prayers. Melinda is a fellow cancer mom and her Sweet little Hannah recently finished her therapy for Rhabdo. She is healing great and is cancer free. PTL.. Just this past week, her family was told that their precious daddy has a brain tumor. He has had surgery and the family is awaiting results, but are told it is most likely Glioblastoma. This sweet family has 6 kids and I know they would appreciate our prayers. I can't imagine their situation. Thank you for lifting them up. <br />
<br />Kesleigh Castlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359311020531298710noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457334179651298601.post-1728273591721683442012-11-29T22:07:00.000-08:002012-11-29T22:07:13.974-08:00This one's for me This afternoon we learned that Clayton didn't make counts again and he won't be getting his chemo this week. Because of this, he will attempt to have his treatment on Tuesday, Dec 4th. If he completes chemo on the 4th, this makes his next chemo due on Christmas Day.. Yep Dec 25th. Since our clinic isn't open on Christmas, his last chemo would be scheduled for Dec. 26th... So, after he opens all his fun presents, he gets to wake up the day after Christmas and have chemo. Well.. Hooray.. (Sarcastic comment). Since his last chemo is the 26th, he will be at his very lowest spot a week after, which is his Disney trip. We will not risk this with Clayton because he has looked forward to this trip for so long. Sooo.. we will be postponing his trip for a couple of months. We are trying to see if the Make a Wish foundation will be able to reschedule the trip for Spring Break. And... its really ok. I talked to Clayton about it and his comment was " Oh maybe I'll have hair and it'll be long enough to make me taller for the scary rides measurer". True.. very true.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYXc6hKZMm4KyrcYhzjdqQtF0U42xXJyl201szCB9OyUZI2lSwIQQACQ1-31x-zB8gUd81R47xb_gXQV3T2XV5bITzMp0iwqrPK5kLZKPLbgfPkzJZqUr-7aCaVaG6umcNgeWW8pvz9x6C/s1600/IMG_5197.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYXc6hKZMm4KyrcYhzjdqQtF0U42xXJyl201szCB9OyUZI2lSwIQQACQ1-31x-zB8gUd81R47xb_gXQV3T2XV5bITzMp0iwqrPK5kLZKPLbgfPkzJZqUr-7aCaVaG6umcNgeWW8pvz9x6C/s400/IMG_5197.JPG" width="400" /></a> This setback today was followed by a couple of other frustrating events that honestly made me laugh. It just all came at once.. honestly within about 30 minutes of each other. Strangely enough, I was ok. I didn't cry, I didn't yell at anyone... I didn't need my punching bag... I really did laugh! Listen, I am NOT going to say that this experience with Clayton has always given me the " Oh well.. It's okay" feeling. Honestly, I will confess to you, that none of this is ok. It's not ok that my baby has/had cancer.. and I am still mad about that. It's just NOT. But lots of things in our lives are NOT ok, but somehow we have to see what IS ok around it. So, For my own good, I'm going to map out my day just to prove how much good was in my day vs the bad. Let's just see what I come up with... I'll note good with :) and bad with :(<br />
- <b>Morning..</b>.<br />
- Woke up.. first thing that went through my head.. and I'm not making this up "Choose you this day who you will serve" I thought... strange, but okay.. I will.<br />
- Stepped on the scale.. picked up a couple lbs.. uh oh :(<br />
- Clayton ate breakfast :)<br />
- Boys were tardy for school :( , but Caroline was on time :)<br />
- Got a surprise phone call from a precious friend in Namibia. :)<br />
- Made it to Zumba (good thing after the scale episode) :)<br />
- Got a GREAT spot in Zumba :)<br />
- <b>Afternoon</b><br />
<b>- </b>Had a great lunch with a precious friend :)<br />
- My debit Card got declined :( .. I had a back up card that worked :)<br />
- My husband immediately moved money :)<br />
- Watched Clayton PLAYING on the playground at school :)))))<br />
- Saw Clayton answer his teacher calling his name from afar.. Reminder that my baby did NOT lose his hearing as we were first told he may :))))<br />
- Took Clayton for bloodwork where he cried :((((<br />
- Received and Deposited a Pay Check. :) Yeah me<br />
- My husband complimented my appearance :)<br />
- Caroline and I found a $14 headboard to refinish for Kate's bedroom :))<br />
- Received a text that Clayton didn't make counts :(<br />
- Received a voicemail that our tenants at our rent house had to be evicted :(<br />
- Received a call that we CANT close on our new house tomorrow because of a title problem :(<br />
- Came home to see my boys laughing and playing ball in the backyard with neighbors :)<br />
<b> Evening</b><br />
<b>- </b>Clayton had his first basketball practice.. a reminder that he's enjoying things his doctor said he'd not feel like doing :)<br />
- Took Kate to Sonic, which made Cort late for basketball because the worker dropped our order :(<br />
- Watched Caroline do cheer :)<br />
- Went out for pizza.. ran into sweet friends :) .. about the pizza vs the scale .. don't worry.. I ate salad.<br />
- Enjoyed an outing to Target with Caroline where I found a cute dress for $7.48 :) Debit card worked :)<br />
- Had Starbucks :) Skinny Peppermint Mocha :)<br />
- Told the kids about the delays with the Disney trip and the house closing.. they ALL handled it well :)<br />
- Told Clayton that he would not be done with chemo by Christmas: ( (I've committed to be up front with him about everything.. no surprises)<br />
- He handled it just fine.. as always :)<br />
- Listened to one of my girls complain about her furniture :(.. not a big priority right now, but remember she's a teenager..<br />
- Listened to my boys giggle in their room before bed :)<br />
- Read many posts of how our friends are praying for us :)<br />
- Got a good night kiss from my husband and was reminded that we're together, we're okay.. and cancer did NOT tear us apart :)<br />
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Life's not all that bad, friends. Sure.. disappointments happen every day and somehow we just have to take a deep breath, look at the HUGE picture of the Good things and face the next day willing and armed with God's promises to make it great. As Dr. Phil says .. Be excited about life. There's so much to enjoy if we will just take it in. I know that there are so many people truly hurting. There are devastating things happening all around us. I know that there are hurts deeper than I have ever known, and trust me.. this old heart has ached pretty bad. But, I am so thankful that even during the deepest hurt I have ever felt, I am still reminded of the promises of my God. A friend reminded me of Isaiah 41:9 " I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous hand" So thankful that I am able to lay it down at His feet.. and off of my shoulders. Now, If I can just commit to do that.. Give it to Him. <br />
Still so so grateful for your prayers. Love you all.. Words can't express!! Just can't!!<br />
<br />
<br />Kesleigh Castlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359311020531298710noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457334179651298601.post-60741742480593911852012-11-27T22:17:00.002-08:002012-11-27T22:18:14.740-08:00It is what it is.... I'm just sitting here in my very quiet house...everyone is sleeping, but me.... , looking at my gorgeous Christmas tree and thinking about how good life really is. I had a little pity party today when Clayton didn't make his counts to have his big chemo. He missed it, but not by much. It is very discouraging, and here is why... for those of you who don't understand this. <br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtw_CQpvjYGeY6daR6ScbGOPefhnTB22eYP7dX_eL-ZKarL9_FzxDjIBr9XC2E2n6sHkPw7GzOnmhihKo30KTGWKwiPV4fKA-BJyQWMsnOMh53owwjNNHnOAm6HhsJm29ghfGpAyCaCrqS/s1600/photoelf.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtw_CQpvjYGeY6daR6ScbGOPefhnTB22eYP7dX_eL-ZKarL9_FzxDjIBr9XC2E2n6sHkPw7GzOnmhihKo30KTGWKwiPV4fKA-BJyQWMsnOMh53owwjNNHnOAm6HhsJm29ghfGpAyCaCrqS/s320/photoelf.JPG" width="240" /></a> Clayton is scheduled to have two more chemos. Each chemo is set to be 3 weeks apart, however, one can not have the chemo drugs if his bone marrow has not recovered from his previous chemo. Bone marrow is a funny thing. Sometimes it will recover well, but other times it is tired and takes longer to get back on track. The further one goes through treatment, the harder it is for the body to recover. Typically 7-10 days after the chemo is administered, Clayton is at a dangerous low with his white cell counts, then the counts slowly recover over the next 2 weeks. Now, with my Clayton it is impossible, most of the time, to tell if his counts are low or not because he is an active little boy. I will tell you honestly that I do notice that he cant play like his brother, cousin, or neighborhood friends can. He takes rests and sometimes just says he'd prefer to build legos. I know this is because he's low and just has spurts of energy. So, I never know when he won't make counts. It's a guessing game....Now, Back to why it's discouraging... Christmas is Dec 25th and Clayton's Make a Wish trip is Jan 2-8. If Clayton can't make his chemo this week, he'll go next week, making his last chemo the week of Christmas. As I said, his Make a Wish trip is Jan 2-8 which would be during his hardest, most dangerous time in treatment. If you've ever been to Disney, then you understand "crowds" is an understatement. So, at that point we'd have to decide to postpone his chemo or the trip. Now, I can't imagine much more discouraging than finishing his CELEBRATION Make a Wish trip and returning to Cook for another chemo. So, we are trying again to make counts for this Friday. He was not too far from the number, so we are hopeful that it will happen. <br />
Clayton has no idea that not making counts was discouraging. In fact, he doesn't mind skipping at all and that is because I make it a HUGE priority for my precious 7 year old to not see the negatives in this big picture. He is a little guy who desperately clings to the positives and has been a true example to me of courage, peace, trust and patience.. to say the least. I honestly have learned so much from him through the past 10 months. Through this whole experience he has faced tough news with a positive spirit, which I know he gets from his Daddy. <br />
Tonight, instead of being at Cooks hooked up to an iv pole receiving the poison that chemo is, Clayton thoroughly enjoyed helping me decorate our Christmas tree, talking my ear off, playing keep away in the living room with his Daddy, brother and a football and just loving being home with his family. It definitely put me in my place as I remember earlier today crying, griping out life and throwing punches at my trusty punching bag just because my timeline got messed up. This is about Clayton... his health... his recovery and his long life. It's not about anything else. Praying, and trying to remind myself that the rest will work out in perfect timing. God is Bigger, He goes before me, and He knows the plan. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God has HUGE plans for Clayton.. and I hope He has some for me too after this is over. So, I have NO other choice than to rest in that, and let God work His plan.. even when it doesn't match mine. I'd be lying if I said I'm not still annoyed... I am, but it is what it is..<br />
<b><i> Psalm 55:22 "Cast your cares on the Lord. He will sustain you. He will NEVER let the righteous be shaken."</i></b>Kesleigh Castlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359311020531298710noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457334179651298601.post-86413748865485455972012-11-25T20:23:00.000-08:002012-11-25T20:23:13.316-08:00Counting our blessings.. and still trudging along<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> Tonight we’re on the
road, returning from a GREAT few days away with family. We took our kiddos and went to Baton Rouge to
visit my parents and my siblings and their kids. It was a great trip and a nice break. We realized that we haven’t been to visit
Baton Rouge in a year. I guess traveling
this year has proven too difficult. So, it was a nice trip. Clayton was able to go with his cousin,
Sophie to see Santa, he rode his bike for hours, built legos, and did lots of
eating. It was so fun, and lots of sweet
memories were made.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> It was certainly
easy to “count our blessings” and be extra thankful this year. We have so much
to be grateful for. So very much! Part of me wants to think about how awful
this year has been , how unfair, how heart breaking and how exhausting.. BUT,
just seeing Clayton alive, cancer free, and thriving kinda makes me forget that
black cloud that has hovered over us this year.
This road is coming to an end, with a positive outcome, and that, my
friends, is the BEST, most awesome blessing we could ever ask for.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiE0r6Zyl_4zaylaS9ohUwkv9gD_UuyAluBdOQo4jYyum_1APuZZKLrFnaE3ejQ064-zAGbcYgcxoP6t65hEi3vkEEsRjVx_3X4c-JFNTrkOvzCyHAFkQPDdJSh-U7wvyDk_5tJ8DSZVTPm/s1600/IMG_5164a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiE0r6Zyl_4zaylaS9ohUwkv9gD_UuyAluBdOQo4jYyum_1APuZZKLrFnaE3ejQ064-zAGbcYgcxoP6t65hEi3vkEEsRjVx_3X4c-JFNTrkOvzCyHAFkQPDdJSh-U7wvyDk_5tJ8DSZVTPm/s320/IMG_5164a.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzdw3h2dGG32P8SEKNHDmDhu-F1TeXb7gyDUeWkL2aIYkN7Z8F5r-i_7b388a8GkE44QyCuN4l7GszvQfRDr_W__ZVRwof20j4BGdcq8FVhp6FHFSwCBEJ9oSmr7lWlsPh_bWHjwVqfDRG/s1600/photosanta.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzdw3h2dGG32P8SEKNHDmDhu-F1TeXb7gyDUeWkL2aIYkN7Z8F5r-i_7b388a8GkE44QyCuN4l7GszvQfRDr_W__ZVRwof20j4BGdcq8FVhp6FHFSwCBEJ9oSmr7lWlsPh_bWHjwVqfDRG/s320/photosanta.JPG" width="240" /></a><span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> Clayton has two
more big chemos left. He is officially
done with his IN TOWN chemos. Those are
the chemos that consists of one drug and
don’t require him to have an overnight stay or have high blood counts. We are excited to close the door on that
treatment.. now we just finish the two big chemos, and our final scans. After that, he’ll be seen every 4 months for
at least 5 years. His next big chemo is
scheduled for THIS Tuesday. We are
praying that Clayton’s bloodwork is good enough for him to have the
treatment. We’ll check his blood early
Tuesday morning, then head to Ft. Worth if the numbers are right. Please pray with us that everything lines up
to allow him to have his treatment. We
are tired and ready to cross the finish line.
His final chemo will be three weeks following, hopefully before
Christmas and before his MAKE A WISH TRIP scheduled right after New Year. We will be having a big celebration, which
EVERYONE is invited to, after his final chemo.
More news on that to come. Just
prepare to celebrate with us!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">We have some exciting times around the
corner with a new house, a Disney trip, Christmas and all that comes along with
it.</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">We are so so so thankful that we
have four kids to do it all with us.</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">We
are so very grateful for God’s provision for our family, health for all of us,
and healing of Clayton.</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Words can not
express the gratitude we have toward our friends who have stepped in and helped
us out this year.</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">From the Jones and
Evans keeping our kids for nights on end, to friends who cooked dinner so many
times,to moms and dads running carpools for us, and most importantly the many
many prayer warriors who daily stand in the gap for us.</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">We are so blessed and honored that you all
love us so much.</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Please keep praying us
through.</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">I can see the finish line… now…
if we can just keep moving toward it!</span></div>
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<br />Kesleigh Castlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359311020531298710noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457334179651298601.post-47134170082417608542012-11-14T10:21:00.000-08:002012-11-14T10:21:20.895-08:00I'm pretty sure... we're moving?? First of all, and most importantly, please pray for double angels over Clayton this week. His bloodwork came back not so good.. in fact... incredibly stinky and we just ask that you pray that his little body would continue to stay healthy... that no illness gets through, that his bone marrow works remarkably well, and he can go away from this journey STRONG!<br />
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Well, I can't believe I'm actually having this converstion, but I'm pretty sure we're moving. Not to get nervous, we're just moving streets, but we have a house under contract and it looks like we're moving forward...like Nov 30th! Yep.. today is November 14.. and I have packed NOTHING. Okay.. I'm breathing again...<br />
<br />
So, we weren't really looking, although we've realized for some time that we're needing more space, but a house one street over that is not listed became available. We went and looked at it, realized we love it and it's a price we're willing to afford, and we made an offer. So, now as we speak, our house is for sale. It's not listed on the market yet because I am still sitting here kind of shocked and overwhelmed at the idea of finishing Clayton's chemo, Christmas shopping, going to Baton Rouge for Thanksgiving, taking a Make a Wish Trip in January AND... packing up a house full of SIX people, redecorating a NEW house and moving. Okay.. WOW.. is all I can say. <br />
<br />
We are so blessed by the new house. As a couple, Chad and I have always made a commitment to live below our means.. meaning we never want to be guilty of putting our focus on "things" and earthly possessions to the point that we can't put our kids through school, tithe, bless another family and most importantly, sleep at night... Don't get me wrong. I LOVE TO SHOP.. but I know the budget, kinda :), and stick right to it.. Right, Sweetie? ;) As a realtor, I see all the houses as they become available, so I sort of get first dibs. As I have looked , I have become more and more convinced that a house for 6 people with room to move in, in my school district, was looking like more than we wanted to commit to. So, when this awesome house came up with a price we're willing to go for, we just felt like we needed to move on it. So far, it's looking like the deal is going to go through. <br />
<br />
With that last statement said... I have found myself unwilling to pack, gather boxes, put a sign in the yard, and tell friends.. I guess because I am hesitant for fear of it falling through. I realize that God's hand is all in this transaction as we have released it to him fully, but I think I have lost a little bit of my security in this past year in realizing that life's circumstances can change in an instant. I'm thinking that I will always have this little hesitation in my heart because I realize that there is truly only one "person" who knows what tomorrow holds and releasing it to Him, is not always the easiest thing. Well, if you think about it.. releasing it is the BEST thing, but oh so hard. <br />
<br />
So, please pray for our family as we move forward. We feel soo blessed by the Lord in this time, are overwhelmed with his goodness to our family and just are attempting to rest in the excitement and adventure that will signal a NEW beginning for our family. AND.. please pray our current house will sell in God's time to the exact right family. We have a GREAT 4bedroom 3 bath in awesome Woodway with a gorgeous backyard, play center, awesome neighbors (including us as we'll still be in the neighborhood:) and a great price. <br />
<br />
I'm so thankful and grateful for God's goodness to us as we approach this Thanksgiving week. Thankful that I have FOUR kids to move into this home, thankful for a new respect toward life, and oh so thankful to kiss that little bald head goodnight each night. God is so good to His people. Take a minute to really take that in, bless Him for it and keep Thanksgiving just that.. a time to truly THANK our precious Lord. ..BTW.. below is portion of our soon to be new backyard.. If it's God's plan, of course. Resting in His promise.. The Lord has promised GOOD to me. <br />
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Kesleigh Castlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359311020531298710noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457334179651298601.post-41763572859076224962012-11-11T19:19:00.000-08:002012-11-11T19:26:35.313-08:00Getting it right...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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So, this week Clayton was able to do Big Chemo... this means TWO MORE.. The light at the end of the tunnel is getting very bright, the people screaming at the end of the finish line are LOUD, the fat lady is grabbing the mic preparing to Sing.. I'm more than ready, as is Clayton. This round of chemo went so smoothly. I finally, with the help of the awesome Oncology nurses, figured out what nausea medicines work the best so that Clayton wouldnt wake up throwing up as he has been. IT WORKED. Not only did we head on home, but we even stopped at Luby's for a large lunch. So thankful.</div>
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This week when we started to leave for Cook Children's, Clayton was kind of running from me and hiding from me when I picked him up at school. I captured him and off we went. </div>
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When we arrived at the hospital, we got off the elevator and walked into the oncology clinic where Clayton decided he needed to go potty. He walked in the restroom, and I turned my back to check us in, and walked back to get Clayton out of the restroom. I call his name, no answer. I start looking around the clinic, ask an Oncology nurse, " Have you seen a cute bald kid?" Her response with a crazy look on her face..."Yes, about 20 today".. anyway.. I alert the staff. They help me. An employee decides to might be time to call a "Code Pink" which puts the entire hospital on lock down announcing a missing child. I'm tearing up, and frantic and suddenly a nurse hollers... He's here... He was quietly sitting in a corner playing a video game and smiling as he ignored us all calling his name and enjoyed the entertainment of "hiding" from us. OH My gosh... This kid is still as spirited, tricky and sneaky as he ever thought about being.. no matter if he's on chemo or not. I'm so thankful that this cancer and chemo has not, for a second, robbed him of his spirit. I guess it makes me wonder if I've allowed it to rob me of my spirit. I'd like to think that it hasn't but I do know I'm a changed Momma. Hopefully all for the better. I remember wondering back in Feb/March if I'd ever find joy again. I think we have, and I think we are ok.. So thankful for the Lord helping us see joy even in our sorrow.<br />
I'm the type momma who is always scared that I'm not "Getting it right".. Am I being a good example for my girls, am I teaching my children the Word consistently, am I feeding them healthy foods, am I encouraging my husband, and I making the wrong decision... You get the idea. Being a mom of a child with cancer, and a mom to his siblings, there are no books that give me all the right answers. It's kind of uncharted territory in a lot of ways. I only hope that I can look back on this experience and feel confident that I did my best helping walk my kids through this and honoring the Lord. <br />
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The picture above is of my beautiful girls this week. They turned 15 and 13. I'm so proud to be their mom and so proud of the big sisters they are. They have taken a rough year, and have handled it with grace and confidence. So thankful for what they bring to my life. Lots to be thankful for this year for sure!Kesleigh Castlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08359311020531298710noreply@blogger.com0