Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Clayton Wins

Wow!  Today is December 19th and my baby is scheduled for his LAST treatment on the 21st.  I can't believe this day is here.  We made it.  We made it with flying colors.  We are still married, we didn't kill each other, I'm not still balled up on the floor... WE MADE IT.
   Tomorrow Clayton will go for his blood counts to insure that he can receive his chemo on Friday.  It is very promising because last week his counts were amazingly high.  We are hopeful and excited to get this done.  Make no mistake, it will be a chemo just like the others.  He will feel sick, which will be combated with our antinausea regimen. He will get low counts again making him immune suppressed, and he'll be tired, BUT.. he'll be done.  Praise be to God.
   I remember the night we returned from Texas Childrens Hospital right after diagnosis.  I  cried the whole way home from Houston, hadn't slept in three nights and was just in a place I've never been before.  I remember walking in the backdoor and Kate saying, " Wow, Mom.. You really need some sleep."   I remember getting a precious amount of calls and texts and thinking that I needed a solution to keep everyone informed and ready to pray specifically.  At that time, I just couldnt face the fact that my baby, innocent and beautiful needed a Caringbridge.  Surely not MY son.  I couldn't do it, so I did what I knew to do and started this blog.  Without hesitation, I sat down and immediately wrote.. CLAYTON WINS.  This was easy for me.  I grew up with my Dad being a HUGE Chicago Cubs fan.  I still hear Harry Carey's voice saying " CUBS WIN CUBS WIN".. In my mind, without hesitation.. I needed to believe that Clayton would win.  He would be a survivor.. a success to medicine.. a testimony of the Lord.  He would WIN.  I also remember thinking, but NEVER saying out loud that Clayton Wins either way.  If he won by receiving the kingdom of Heaven too early, I would be the Loser, not my Precious.  So, either way CLAYTON WINS.  How grateful am I that Clayton WON on this side of heaven.  He's here, he's mine... he's well, he's whole, he's a testimony to God's healing power and I am FOREVER grateful for the gift of my son right now at this moment!
    So, we'll go on Friday, get that last dose of poison that saved his life. I will pray everyday and every moment  that he never has to experience the wrath of cancer and chemo EVER again.  I will still beg and still plead for continued healing and for my son.
   Come celebrate with us on Saturday.  It's a surprise for Clayton.  We'll be lining the street and ready to cheer Clayton in after his last treatment.  We expect to be home by 2:00.  We'd love to make him feel like the champion that he has been to us.  We'll be outside our new home in Woodway and welcome anyone and everyone.
    I said from the beginning that the Lord promised me Good.  He did.. The Lord promised Good to me.  I will rest in His goodness for holding me up, pushing me through and most importantly, covering my son.  Praise be to God.  Hope to see you all on Saturday.

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