Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Happy Birthday, Daddy

   Sometimes I try to think through Clayton's eyes.  I try to remember back to when I was a 7 year old.  What do I remember about that time in my life?  What will Clayton remember? Will he remember everything that he's going through?  Will he smell a hospital and immediately remember his days there?  Will he remember his mother holding him and crying and praying?  Will he remember his Daddy picking him up and carrying him because he felt too crummy to walk?
     So, as I'm thinking back, one thing I know I remember is always having the desire to be a wife and mommy... always daydreaming about who I would marry and what that would be like for me.  I will be honest here.. as I person who grew up with many self esteem issues, I remember vividly wondering if anyone would ever WANT to marry me?  Would I be blessed with a husband?  Well, 41 years ago today, my life's biggest blessing was born in a hospital in Greenville, Tx.  Amazing to think about how at that moment God already knew the plans He had for that little baby boy.  How thankful I am that those plans included me!  I couldnt be more blessed. 
     Chad,  thank you for giving your best to me and our children always... for loving me with your whole heart despite my failures.  Thank you for holding me up when I can't stand... for letting me sob on your shoulder for days...for making me see the positive side of everything...for forgiving me when I don't deserve forgiveness....for being an amazing father...for providing for us... for fighting for our marriage over anything else..and for seeing a beauty in me that I don't see.   Our children are blessed by you, I'm blessed by you, and you bless the Lord in your daily walk.  Couldn't be more thankful for the man who God chose for me.  I love you!  Happy Birthday! Philippians 1:3 " I thank my God everytime I think of you".
      As an update on Clayton.  He's doing great this week.  I can see in his little face that the chemo is taking effect and he's probably pretty low with his blood counts.  But, he has played 2 flag football games, earned 3 dog tags at school for reading MANY books, played nonstop with his brother and is feeling well and fever free.  I'm so very grateful.  He is insisting on coming home after school and wrapping dads gifts and making Dad's birthday cake "By Hisself:)" The only explanation for how he's handling this is God.  I am amazed by the angels that surround him keeping him safe and well and keeping his heart positive.  There is no other explanation, friends.
    I will tell you that we had his hearing tested last week.  He is only having a mild loss in his right ear, which the audiologist believes is temporary because of some fluid on his ear drum.  We are so grateful.  We have been assured that he will probably lose most of his hearing in his right ear due to radiation, but it would happen as he grows.  So far, we are not seeing a huge loss.  Also, he had a follow up with his Kidney surgery (unrelated to cancer).  The tests are not showing that the kidney is functioning completely as it should be.  We have decided that since the Lord gave us two kidneys and he is in no danger, we will cross the kidney bridge after we are done with chemotherapy.  There is no emergency here, and we are told there is no harm to him in waiting to review this in a few months. 
   Thank you to all of you who continue to lift our family up in prayer.  We are forever grateful.  So very very grateful. 

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