Saturday, March 3, 2012

Making it work

We were so excited to be home Thursday night. We had an interesting ride home with Clayton nauseated and not feeling great. So, after his first chemo treatment, he did have a few bouts of nausea. We are learning exactly what anti nausea medicines will work best for him. It's strange, because he'll be just fine one minute and then throwing up the next.

Friday morning he was very sick. Later in the day he was feeling better and even asked to go to the school carnival. I reluctantly agreed, but held his hand and walked with him and my hand sanitizer the entire night. I could tell he was glad to be there, but was completely overwhelmed at the same time. He saw lots of friends, teachers, and I was able to see lots of friends who I've missed. We are so blessed to have such an awesome support system.

Today, Saturday, He had a better day. He did have an episode of nausea in the car after he thought he wanted Shipleys, but after a rest and a great shower, he ended up having a great day. I was outside calling him down off the slide by late afternoon. Last thing we need is a broken arm from climbing over the top of the monkey bars. It felt good to see he and Cort play a little. He's learned that his siblings get squeamish with the vomiting, so he's figured out how to fake throw up just to make them jump and run. It's really kinda funny.. typical Clayton.

Clayton with Dr. Murali.. his Oncologist. Please pray for him by name as he heads up Clayton's team.
Back with big sis

Driving around town today, attending the school carnival and getting back to reality a little has made me realize what all we take forgranted. How much I really loved the sight of my little kindergartener throwing his backpack on and running toward the bus, something he won't be doing for awhile... watching little boys file out of their cars for ball practice...seeing neighborhood kids all running around together talking about where they're going next. Makes me so excited to think of the day that my little guy will be back doing those things... healed, changed, stronger and ready to face the world. Lord, please give me that day... give HIM that day. We trust you for it.

Tonight as I was praying over Clayton I caught myself bargaining with God. Begging him to give me a chance.. a LONG chance to create something amazing in Clayton that would be used for His glory for YEARS. Begging him to heal him and give him.. and me.. a chance. Is that wrong.. begging God? Cause I'm BEGGING God to heal Clayton. Please continue to pray that Clayton's treatment plan works, and for the side effects to be light. We love you ALL.


  1. So glad that y'all are home and getting somewhat comfortable with your new normal. Will continue to pray for Clayton, Dr. Murali and your family. I don't think it is wrong to bargain with God. He knows your heart and how much love you have for Clayton. Hope Clayton's good days are great and his not so good days very few.

  2. Thanks for sharing your life and your heart so we can pray for Clayton and all of you. Asking God for healing, strength and peace. Melissa Marx

  3. Praying for him every step of the way! Glad that he felt well enough to play and go to the fair! Praying for the doctor and all of your family!

  4. It's never wrong to beg Kes, and I thought of this passage below when I read your blog. Jesus even tested her faith, questioned her being there...she remained steadfast and unbelievable humble before Jesus...likening herself a dog compared to the Master. Jesus answered her request for her daughter.

    Matthew 15:21-28
    New International Version (NIV)
    The Faith of a Canaanite Woman

    21 Leaving that place, Jesus withdrew to the region of Tyre and Sidon. 22 A Canaanite woman from that vicinity came to him, crying out, “Lord, Son of David, have mercy on me! My daughter is demon-possessed and suffering terribly.”
    23 Jesus did not answer a word. So his disciples came to him and urged him, “Send her away, for she keeps crying out after us.”

    24 He answered, “I was sent only to the lost sheep of Israel.”

    25 The woman came and knelt before him. “Lord, help me!” she said.

    26 He replied, “It is not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to the dogs.”

    27 “Yes it is, Lord,” she said. “Even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their master’s table.”

    28 Then Jesus said to her, “Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.” And her daughter was healed at that moment.

  5. I'll couple with you in that I beg quite a bit :) I believe it shows my absolute humility to God. He knows your heart and I don't know if He minds us begging or not. I doubt He labels it as anything negative. He knows you are calling upon Him to hear your desires and He knows you, knows Clayton - knows each of you by name and wants to comfort you.

    I'm glad to hear Clayton's progress (and yours!) What a great treat to go hang out with friends and enter into some normalcy again (relative of course). You are walking with eyes wide open and you are blessing us all.

    Our family continues to lift you all up. I pray so specifically for you as a Mom. I thank you for your posts and generosity in keeping us informed on how we can lift you up and the gentle reminders of life's goings on.

    Bless you, Chad and that beautiful family.
    ~Karen & The Oakley Crew

  6. Wow! I had no idea the last few weeks for the Castle family has been something other than "business as usual." Having just read your blog posts through streaming tears, I can see that God is clearly at work in this situation... even in ways you may not realize. Your pain, open honesty, and faith is a very powerful testimony for the Lord. He IS working for you... and through you! God bless you and your family as you continue to stand firm, trusting Him with the results and giving Him the praise and glory for the victory. Clayton WINS!!!

    To Clayton:
    "Beloved, I wish above all things that you may prosper and be in health, even as your soul prospers." 3 John 2

    My prayers are with you all.
    In His love,
    Mike Evans

    P.S.- Beg on. God knows your heart and, as you well know, invites you to "cast your cares on me, for I care for you."

  7. Wow, Kesleigh, thank you so much for sharing your blog with the parents of Mrs. Barrett's class. Like Mr. Evans, tears freely flowed as I read your situation, rejoicing and crying with you. You have made me want to be a better mom. The past few weeks I have been thinking about how much more I could be doing with my children, while completely unimportant things keep capturing my attention. The Heimbach family will be battling in prayer with you for Clayton's quick recovery and complete healing. We are standing on this verse for Clayton and your family...
    "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." Mat.7:7
    Sarah Heimbach (Hanan's mom)