Thursday, March 29, 2012

Playing the Field..

     This week has been strangely normal.. and not something I'm disappointed about.  Baseball is back in full swing, and if you know our family, you know we do a lot of baseball.  Just going out to the game makes life seem "normal". 
     This past weekend Cort had a baseball tournament.  His team did outstanding and WON the championship.  These precious people who have become our extended family, got together and decided to play the tournament in honor of Clayton and his "battle" to be a "champion" and win against cancer.  The boys so kindly signed the winning plaque and presented it to Clayton.  SOOO precious. 

Clayton with all of the baseball sisters... It's fun to hear Cort talk to his baseball teamates and ask them which one of his buddies will become his "brother-in-law" when Clayton marries his little sister.

               Clayton proudly receiving the trophy the big boys gave him for being their inspiration.  I'll tell you what, this little guy is certainly a walking example of bravery, in my opinion, but I'm ready to give him a break and let someone else be the brave one for a while.  Too bad it doesn't work that way, right?  I took him to get his intown chemo treatment on Wednesday.  Even though this is not a BIG chemo, it still requires his port to be accessed and just fear for a little 6 year old.  Well, this week, he just got MAD. I mean MAD.  This was the first time since this whole experience started that he broke down and screamed and just let go.  He screamed the whole way home.  Once we got home, I let him scream it out. He was unwilling to let me talk to him, so I just walked outside on the porch and waited until he was done screaming. After I heard him calm down,  I came back in the house and sat down by him.  He wouldn't look at me or answer me, which reminded me that he's probably mad at me for being the driver that takes him to these awful places were people poke him and all that goes with that...  Anyway, as I sat by him.. with tears and hurt all over my face, I proceeded to talk to him.  Just to tell him how sorry I am, how I would do anything to take it from him, how I pray and beg God to make it easy for him, how unfair it is, how long it is and how I am so sorry that it happened to him.  He doesnt respond, but suddenly looks up and seems okay.   I honestly can't believe how a little 6 year old boy is doing what he's doing.  He has to be terrified.  Lord, please continue to hold him and be what I can't be for him. I can't describe to you how frustrating it is to be unable to "fix" this for him.  I realize we are doing what we can to fix it permanently for him, but the leading up is just awful.  Bless his heart.  He is only on week 6, and there are 42!  Lord, give us grace to move forward.  Please be for Clayton what I can't be for him!

    We are approaching his 6 weeks of radiation.  Please be in prayer for our family as we decide where to do this.  We started off being set on doing it in Houston, but after a great experience at Cook Childrens, we are praying about the possibility of doing it there.  We realize that what is best for Clayton is the obvious most important thing, but keeping life as close to normal is part of what is best for Clayton too.  Being in Ft. Worth would allow us to keep life a little more normal.  Please pray for us as we try to make a good decision that will give Clayton the best result possible.

     Thank you all so much for your love and support.  We couldn't be doing this without you all praying for us and pulling for us.  We are so blessed to have precious friends, families, neighbors.  Take a minute today to be thankful for your Christian family.  How beautiful is the body of Christ!

 The Lord brings PERFECT PEACE to those who are steadfast.. because They have trusted HIM...
 Isaiah 29:3


  1. Kesleigh, I love your honesty. No family should have to go through this. But you are being such a light and encouragement to so many others. We love you and are praying for you all! love the Easleys

  2. Kesleigh, we're in choir together (fellow Alto) at HBC, but I don't think we've formally met yet. I am moved by your blog, and I truly hope it helps you "get it all out" when you need to. I know I've gone through many emotions while reading it, and I SO wish I could wave a magic wand over Clayton to rid him of cancer. If I had that kind of magic, I would do it in a heartbeat. But until then...I'll pray for you guys alot.

    I have an offer for you. You're an EXCELLENT writer (and I've seen many in my profession as a graphic designer). When Clayton is well, and life returns somewhat to normalcy, I'd like to plant the seed in your brain that you should compile all of your blog entries into a book. Yes, a real printed, bound book. I think it would bring comfort like none other to other parents who may eventually walk the path you're on now. My offer is that I will be happy to design the cover and lay out the interior of the book for you...for free. If you have a friend in the printing industry, perhaps they'll give you a huge discount to print it, but I truly feel that your words will bring comfort to others. Consider this my gift to your family (and my very small contribution to helping others through the cancer journey I walked with my grandfather years ago).

    Give it some thought, and if it's ever of interest, my email address is Keep the faith and know that the choir prays for you guys often!

    Kim Williams/By Design

    1. I completely agree - I also go to Highland (my husband is Truell, the french horn player). Like you, I am so impressed with Kesleigh's writing and the impact of her story. I think it could help so many others -- my sister and brother-in-law are pediatricians, and I know from their stories how God uses such things.

      Hang in there, Kesleigh! Prayers for you and your sweet family.

  3. Kesleigh,

    Everyday at 6:16 I continue to for your family when my alarm goes off. My heart just broke reading this about Clayton finally breaking. What a tough little fella! I will pray for God to give Clayton a supernatural calm when he goes in for those Chemo treatments. A peace that surpasses his understanding. And that the next rest of treatments throughout the year FLY BY. I will be praying also that the normalcy (as much as it can be) continues. I read all the blogs although I haven't commented since the first one. Your family is on my heart and mind very often.

    Sending the love of Jesus from Lafayette,

    Holly Owens (Rhonda Williams' friend)