Monday, April 9, 2012

One Holiday Closer...

   Well, Easter came and went.  We had an amazing weekend with friends and family.  Clayton felt great and enjoyed so much just being normal and participating in the egg hunts and all of the fun.  Also, this holiday puts me one holiday closer to Christmas!! Come on Christmas!!  Of course, I'm trusting that at Christmas we'll have a cancer free little boy who's looking forward to a big year full of normalcy and not chemo treatments.  I'm believing God for it!  Not to be misleading.. he does face 5 years of quarterly scans to make sure that there is not reoccurence, so this evil cancer will still exist in our minds, but we just pray that it absolutely does NOT exist in his body! 

    As I was thinking about Easter, I couldn't help but think about Mary and the hurt her heart must have felt while she watched her precious, blameless son suffer and die.  I can only imagine the conversations she had with God... probably some similar to a few I've had.  I imagine the despair Mary had when God didn't swoop down and save her Jesus.. at least not in the timing she would have preferred.  I'll just be honest, I would lay my life down for others,  those who are deserving, but I would NOT offer my son's life for others.  As a mother, the thought of that is just unbearable.  I've had friends tell me that Clayton's journey is changing lives.  While I'm so glad that lives are being changed, I'll just tell you that it hurts my mother heart that it's taking Clayton's suffering to do it. I am glad that God is taking BAD and making it GOOD... no mistaking that, but I just wish it didn't have to involve my baby.

My sweet niece, Addie, came to spend the week with us.  She's hanging out with me and helping with Clayton and basically spoiling him rotten.  She's also heading up with me tomorrow to Cook Childrens for Clayton's next BIG overnight chemo.  I HATE big chemo. I'm so thankful for the cure, but so hate what the drugs do to my baby.  I'm just praying for another cycle like the last one.  Little sickness, no fever and great blood counts.  We're also meeting with the Radiation Oncologist in Ft. Worth as we are moving closer to the dates for Radiation to begin.  This is getting very scary and unnerving.  Please keep us and Clayton in your prayers as we make decisions that allow us to move forward.

I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living .  Psalms 27:13
These are some of Clayton's cousins in Baton Rouge sporting their Clayton Wins Shirts.
If you'd also like a shirt, please let me know.  We have some sizes left, but are reordering AS and AM.
Thank you all so much!

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